Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually,...

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 688

You deserved it 4 311

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Same thing different taste

Lock your doors

By homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 302

You deserved it 558

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 6 876

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 648

By IrisKitty - 18/08/2015 07:07 - United States - Englewood

Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 736

You deserved it 6 835

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 621

You deserved it 3 135

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 948

You deserved it 21 601

By malebonding - 17/08/2009 13:50 - United States

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 332

You deserved it 14 920

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 753

By anonymous - 17/01/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 401

You deserved it 1 869

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 164

lettertjes 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:02

Ohhh that's bad I would be totally freaked out. Maybe you should also think about what caused the sleepwalking and do something about that. The most common causes are stress and alcohol abuse.

maskedman 9

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:19

It's a good thing you're a woman. If you were a man you'd be registering as a sex offender right now. Then it wouldn't matter where you move.

Comments

cracktus 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:19

Wish I lived next to you, OP.

eastside09 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:20

ok r u kiding me it's a girl she sleeps naked y in the hell would u say dnt sleep naked wat r u gay or somethin

chunkyguy 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:22

hey next time lock from inside and eat the key, when you do the 'morning job' next morning pick it from there before flushing.

TempestJones 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:43

ewww... but what if it doesn't pass? or the op gets a bad case of constipation?

Resquall 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 16:32

What if you can't FIND it?

karina_said 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 17:22

then she's ******. again

purplehaze980 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:23

i agree that i didn't realize that the op is a girl, but now that I do , I still would post the same comment .

ThatWasPathetic 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:40

You could just stop sleep walking. I think that's a better option than moving.

dancingxthexmoon 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:45

I don't think that it'd be that easy

GreenDayRoxs 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:19

it's unconsiously done. I have a feeling snicks is gonna comment on that. :p

TempestJones 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:46

I agree with number 1... go see a doctor chica. That is really dangerous. thank god it was a nice old woman who found you and gave you a nightgown and not some serial rapist/murderer.

Giorgio272 2

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:53

clearly you have aids. just embrace it. now go get freaky with the kind old lady who helped you out.

applesmoothiee 2

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:57

ya dude

ThatOneAdamKid24 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:57

I wish I lived in that apartment... =x

maskedman 9

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:19

It's a good thing you're a woman. If you were a man you'd be registering as a sex offender right now. Then it wouldn't matter where you move.

MakaPaka_fml 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:43

Being a woman in this situation is also bad.

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 13 March 2010 14:27

Yes, what #38 said. I'd rather be registering as a sex offender or trying to explain my situation to the cops than getting the rape kit done at the hospital or being killed.