Love: Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on...

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 827

You deserved it 45 436

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Same thing different taste

By drfeelgood93 - 04/08/2010 22:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 5 059

I'm not the main character in this scene

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 00:00 - Norway

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 111

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 1 484

By mm - 12/11/2012 17:27 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 847

You deserved it 8 969

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 606

You deserved it 44 530

By Lo - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 789

You deserved it 4 708

By Jake - 28/09/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 931

You deserved it 3 462

Movie night

By ditched - 17/08/2009 19:49 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 103

You deserved it 6 113

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 200

You deserved it 5 891

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 748

You deserved it 2 522

shootingstar8D 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 16:09

Ohhh shitttt. Reeejjeecctteeddddd haha

Boon_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 16:12

Maybe it's because you can't spell "you're" right.

Comments

Hippie6 0

Friday 3 December 2010 19:55

HAHAHAHAHAHA. dude. that is the worst line Ive ever heard. That chick must think ure retarted. lol

purplestar16 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 8:16

wow stingy much! ! your popcorn!!?? jerk! YDI

cnygard95 12

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:31

BITCH lol

179jfkla 2

Thursday 5 May 2011 18:57

Dude fail ask by leaning in

kei1108 13

Wednesday 25 May 2011 17:25

That sucks. FYL. ... But what a creepy thing to say.

Majd09 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 2:51

you just like her. ur not official couples; maybe she doesn't like u that way. you think that's a good thing to say?

princess151617 4

Saturday 24 September 2011 18:12

That sound like something I would do

ashwowa 14

Friday 16 December 2011 6:51

hahahahahahahaha WIN!!!!

sketchmaster7 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 18:38

It's okay! Girls like confidence like that!!

decidedlyvague 11

Sunday 28 October 2012 23:10

You should've said, "What the ****!? This isn't Hershey's."

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 103

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 123

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 660

You deserved it 12 195

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 847

You deserved it 5 469

Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 525

You deserved it 2 254

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 033

You deserved it 49 641

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 989

You deserved it 18 149

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 746

You deserved it 4 851

Same thing different taste

I'm not the main character in this scene

Close shave

Movie night

Movie night

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