Health: Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing...

By milkysubstance - 14/03/2017 05:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 122

You deserved it 493

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Same thing different taste

By unknown951 - 29/11/2010 07:11

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 4 762

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 280

You deserved it 6 412

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 16:34 - United States

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 407

You deserved it 2 840

Damp patch

By mommy - 17/11/2010 12:09 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 498

You deserved it 3 356

By gamerlaura - 21/07/2016 22:09 - United Kingdom - Blaenau-ffestiniog

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 1 472

By Anonymous - 20/11/2017 06:00

Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 186

You deserved it 525

By Anony-moose - 11/10/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 2 570

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 881

You deserved it 9 978

By don't cry over spilled milk - 23/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Elmendorf Afb

Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 221

You deserved it 1 434

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 417

You deserved it 8 666

PeaceSignQueen 6

Friday 10 March 2017 9:07

did you find out what was the issue at least

RichardPencil 30

Monday 13 March 2017 20:13

The good news that if you are a squirter, there are some nice employment opportunities for you in the film industry ;)

Comments

PeaceSignQueen 6

Friday 10 March 2017 9:07

did you find out what was the issue at least

sousaphonist 14

Monday 13 March 2017 20:03

Not sure what the doctor was expecting with one

Lily_Rain77 25

Monday 13 March 2017 20:03

Now I'm curious

Coffee5555 14

Monday 13 March 2017 20:09

well, that's good news! ?

Uniquestar7 20

Monday 13 March 2017 20:12

Prolactinoma?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 13 March 2017 20:13

The good news that if you are a squirter, there are some nice employment opportunities for you in the film industry ;)

ImminentDisaster 12

Monday 13 March 2017 23:16

Phantom pregnancy? My cousins dog had that.

neuronerd 28

Monday 13 March 2017 23:44

Certain antipsychotics/anxiety meds cause that. But yeah, at least it happened at the doctor's office. They're used to embarrassing stuff.

Mira Lynn Hebert 3

Tuesday 14 March 2017 1:02

but what was it

LavenderCrow 12

Tuesday 14 March 2017 1:05

I hope it's not breast cancer, OP. I also hope you figure out what it is soon and get it treated! Must be super awkward. :/

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Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 424

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

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You deserved it 1 045

The Top

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You deserved it 308

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I agree, your life sucks 25 114

You deserved it 14 855

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I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 529

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 262

Today, we've had some auditors with us and I chat with some of them during the day. It's Friday so I asked one of them until what time they were working. It was late and I loudly exclaimed, "That's so late! Your bosses have no hearts!" The auditor then points to their table where the boss is sitting. Glaring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 775

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 5 027

Same thing different taste

Damp patch

Straining

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