Animals: Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery....

By baddoggy - 17/10/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 110

You deserved it 23 589

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Same thing different taste

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 098

You deserved it 3 173

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 862

You deserved it 21 643

By Jen - 11/02/2011 09:02

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 895

You deserved it 6 337

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 001

You deserved it 17 895

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 414

You deserved it 26 398

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 427

You deserved it 2 980

Stranded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 925

You deserved it 3 649

By Anonymous - 25/05/2013 04:50 - United States - Clifton

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 596

You deserved it 18 324

By MadameM - 26/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 132

You deserved it 9 751

By ej6901 - 23/06/2015 20:00 - United States - Ventnor City

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 812

You deserved it 19 115

yourWIFEandKIDS 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 16:21

YDI because you're a retard.

MrsxBillxKaulitz 5

Sunday 17 October 2010 16:25

your dog probably hit the lock button.

Comments

x805xUnknown 6

Sunday 17 October 2010 21:20

I think the dog planned this. He planned you to lock your keys and purse in the car, so he can take the keys, steal your car and have the money from the purse to live off of. It's so diobolical it just might work...

LQwhatitdew 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 21:51

Eff the pooch's life. It's owner is a moron.

jocelyng_fml 0

Monday 18 October 2010 2:57

I only care about the dog, I hope you broke into the car asap

sepya 0

Monday 18 October 2010 7:07

poor dog!

munkee_6669 0

Monday 18 October 2010 12:02

thats why we cant let them vote

spcrocker 4

Wednesday 29 October 2014 2:33

I feel bad for the dog like what kind of owner forgets all important things in a car then lock themselves out, I pray for your dog is okay.

dogshorsescats 18

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:36

She might have had to get out real fast and the dog might have hit the lock button

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Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 102

You deserved it 441

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 018

You deserved it 22 268

Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 487

You deserved it 4 366

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 685

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 019

You deserved it 12 830

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 489

You deserved it 5 423

Same thing different taste

Stranded

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