Work: Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't... - FML

By Username - 15/12/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 2 934

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By oh no - 06/06/2016 15:45 - United States - Rochester

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 143

You deserved it 3 071

By nerderer - 30/04/2015 18:48 - United States - Duluth

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 848

You deserved it 6 837

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 186

You deserved it 4 584

Scavengers

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 26 770

By Deaf and Dumb - 23/05/2017 18:00

Today, while on the bus, the girl in front of me asked me if I could find the orange she'd dropped. I couldn't see it, but when I told her that there was no orange there, she gave me the strangest look. She'd said ring, not orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 018

You deserved it 597

By Ansharus - 06/06/2016 13:47 - Belgium - Londerzeel

Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 826

You deserved it 4 031

Is gift for you

By NotAThief - 14/08/2016 22:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but they were out, so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 533

You deserved it 1 083

By Username - 04/08/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 010

You deserved it 3 827

By Anonymous - 05/10/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 117

You deserved it 2 543

Next

Top comments

jjoyce6 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:47

Orange you glad they didn't take your banana?

wafflesyay 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:45

Ok then..

Comments

baseballplaya5 7

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:55

Must have been the work of chuck Norris.

Riley97 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:58

Bro, the orange police probably came as hung your orange!

Heeeerroin 5

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:58

Someone's an orange hater! It's a sign.

dookiedoo 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:59

It's a sign. Eat more junk food.

JordenAsplund 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:00

Fat ass...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:35

You can eat fast food AND not be a fat ass, believe it or not. That "fat-ass" comment was unnecessary, ass-munch...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:38

The key word is moderation, and maybe, just maybe, dookiedoo was joking...

cj7geojeep 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:54

Dookiedoo looks a bit like jack black...and I love fast food...and I'm skinny hahaha

Funny14u 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:59

What the hell !!!

Maxine17 8

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:00

It wouldn't even occur to me to look at the ceiling to see if my orange was there

rexgar2000 10

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:04

that's what I was thinking.

rattusrattus 18

Thursday 15 December 2011 18:16

They probably looked up when orange juice started dripping down their face. Like in films, just before the monster attacks. OP should probably watch out and arm themself with a machete.

Riley97 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:00

Yeah sorry about that, I get blackouts sometimes and I hang oranges on the ceiling... And rape pillows.

pink_rose2011 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:02

lmao that just made my day!

perdix 29

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:03

Are you on acid?

Liimitless 6

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:11

^more like shrooms

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Keywords

Work Mental health Students Relatable Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Intimacy Wanker Family First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Transportation Cars Cops Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 81

Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML

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The Top

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 853

You deserved it 1 648

Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 784

You deserved it 1 741

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 391

You deserved it 8 492

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 3 683

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 289

Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 259

You deserved it 1 103