Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While...

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 579

You deserved it 3 575

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Drama Llama

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 198

You deserved it 10 109

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 4 692

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 073

You deserved it 3 816

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 080

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 12:33 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 678

Pranked, level 2000

By Poopyhead - 08/11/2009 19:14 - Ireland

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 736

You deserved it 15 729

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 3 819

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 721

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 743

You deserved it 2 016

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 193

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:36

It's like animal bukkake... but with other non-seminal bodily fluids.

shamandalie_fml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:39

ewww

Comments

smexy_sasori123 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 23:16

ur not much of an animal person... are u??

blastvortex 3

Sunday 8 November 2009 23:19

At least it wasn't spooge. ㄟ㋛ㄏ

BlowYaMind 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 23:22

Maybe you should try and go see the pandas? "Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk." (Anchorman) :]

heart_broken44 0

Monday 9 November 2009 0:29

hey look at it as maybe something good is coming out off all this. you neva know....

mellopete 0

Monday 9 November 2009 0:59

Why are half the posts here BS?

grrrarrrg2 2

Monday 9 November 2009 2:03

Because the Original post is probably BS

Aha09 1

Monday 9 November 2009 2:54

Llamas are known for their spitting. Be smart next time, OP. Stay away from the llamas.

popatia 0

Monday 9 November 2009 9:50



primogen18 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 18:48

LOL this and the other goat one had me rolling. I don't care if it is BS or not, its still hilarious

ToraZalinto 0

Thursday 12 November 2009 4:46

Has anyone realized that this post is impossible? Deers have more or less nubs for tails. There is no way it pissed on it's own tail and shook it at the OP. O_o ~Tora