Intimacy: Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with...

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 218

You deserved it 8 311

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Same thing different taste

Honey, you've got some explaining to do

By darren - 08/04/2024 18:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 78

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 111

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 615

You deserved it 6 819

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 747

You deserved it 4 491

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 916

You deserved it 35 097

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 935

You deserved it 3 166

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 152

You deserved it 3 700

By Mateo - 14/12/2008 03:58 - France

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 784

You deserved it 67 543

By ConfusedGirl - 15/12/2015 13:03 - United States - Pittsford

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 135

You deserved it 2 236

By Toldyouso - 22/01/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 292

You deserved it 24 619

TEAZO 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:04

oh damn cheating on you the whole time. im sorry im sure u can do better.

summer_spell 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:12

what a bitch. hope you know how many girls wished to have a boyfriend who surprised them like that.

Comments

TEAZO 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:04

oh damn cheating on you the whole time. im sorry im sure u can do better.

jadore_me 0

Friday 7 August 2009 10:58

tht bitch.

ZleveL 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 2:05

rip her **** off and glue 'em to his eyes :)

tellithowitis 13

Monday 25 April 2011 22:33

throw the flowers at his face

sheagstaz 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 4:35

*slap*

zakkyzebra 11

Friday 24 June 2011 10:33

"Just me, bitch- I mean baby!"

mastercrammer 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:07

Agree with #1. I'm sure there's someone else worthy of you and all your effort.

goosemanrocks 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:08

OUCH! i had to read that one a few times to get it. why would anyone DO that!?

summer_spell 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:12

what a bitch. hope you know how many girls wished to have a boyfriend who surprised them like that.

MrsCunny 1

Friday 10 February 2012 21:15

So true

greenman_fml 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:14

sounds like a three-some opportunity to me. you said he was handsome...

chungy92 5

Friday 23 July 2010 15:24

you pervert..

alex_vik 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:15

I wonder what that guy thought when he found out why you were there.

RHK_fml 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:16

Seems like YOU were the one who got the surprise...

soxgrl33 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:21

I agree with #4.

your_boss 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:25

dude dont call ur rival in love "handsom" and ur girlfriend's a bitch lol

stephan18 23

Saturday 18 August 2012 2:59

Rival?.. As if you're supposed to fight over someone who cheats on you, you don't.. You just walk away, or beat the shit out of both of them!

Narutosuns2fan 12

Thursday 11 July 2013 19:28

The guy did nothing wrong if he didn't know about the relationship, his girlfriend is the bitch here,

giganoodle 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:29

Is it just me, or do we start to make big romantic gestures right when we subconsciously sense our relationships going down the tubes?

Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Geek Scams Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Cops Bikes Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Work Art Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 364

The Top

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 936

You deserved it 2 746

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 445

You deserved it 30 037

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 553

You deserved it 2 446

Today, I asked my mom to help my daughter with Zoom school while I handled an emergency. When I got back, I found out my mom went through my laptop containing all my documents, my emails and even the journal my therapist suggested I keep. She says she was looking for a Zoom link. Yeah right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 138

Today, my husband insists he'll be able to make a career out of playing League of Legends. He says this with only $4 in our bank account because of his last brilliant career move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 845

You deserved it 648

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 615

You deserved it 3 911

Same thing different taste

Honey, you've got some explaining to do

Surprise!

Surprise indeed

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