Intimacy: Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's...

By Toldyouso - 22/01/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 292

You deserved it 24 619

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

A heads up next time maybe?

By Bob - 07/04/2020 02:00

Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 673

You deserved it 1 004

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 916

You deserved it 35 097

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 781

You deserved it 18 359

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 114

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 812

You deserved it 29 349

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 615

You deserved it 6 819

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 218

You deserved it 8 310

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 368

You deserved it 5 482

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 67 415

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 412

You deserved it 5 558

Boddmon 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:04

Why would your girlfriend knock on her own door? You're an idiot for not realizing it would be someone else.

uhohuscrewedup 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:17

why do ppl try these things when parents are at home. ydi

Comments

Boddmon 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:04

Why would your girlfriend knock on her own door? You're an idiot for not realizing it would be someone else.

v1kt4r 13

Friday 22 January 2010 18:45

this has nothing to do with #1s post but someone at least in the 1st 5 should have said it OP i believe u mean lay there...

holaworld 0

Friday 22 January 2010 22:29

haha wow! Rhys soo stupiddd

The_Norwegian 2

Saturday 23 January 2010 8:43

Because it's just a made up story..

messychick 0

Monday 25 January 2010 20:15

what she do when she say you there

jakeidk 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:11

did she scream? or mount you??

mauk 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 4:00

probably had a threesome

danthehuman 29

Friday 4 July 2014 6:19

But his girlfriend wasn't there?

dirtbikeguy 14

Tuesday 25 August 2015 6:20

most likely mounted him. probably saw the chest pubes going down to the ball fro and grabbed him by the weiner

anela_fml 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:16

always check first sheesh lol

uhohuscrewedup 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:17

why do ppl try these things when parents are at home. ydi

Dr_Jalepenos 0

Thursday 25 August 2011 17:01

On purpose?

anela_fml 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:18

but I like that you tried

joobie 1

Friday 22 January 2010 16:26

YDI for listening to kenny g

iBelieve08 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:29

dude, you sound gay! i thought that was what the girl was supposed to do =/

shadaboo2014 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 4:17

lol thts wat happened on the movie valentines day...good movie

jpsullivan 36

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:28

"he did all that to screw a girl yes of course he must be a homosexual"

MinaXmassacre 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:50

"Kenny G music playing softly..." So you're cheesy and have bad music taste.

emmmilyyy 0

Friday 22 January 2010 16:54

Kenny g??? gaahh.. haven't u seen wayne's world 2.. Kenny g is terrible.. u have bad taste in music

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 22 January 2010 17:07

Well... is her mom at least a MILF? Did this lead to a make-out (or more) that your girlfriend walked in on?

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Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

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Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

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You deserved it 10 014

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

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You deserved it 59 072

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 757

You deserved it 60 004

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 407

You deserved it 9 704

Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 113

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 58 686