Love: Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only...

By Jaime - 31/03/2014 22:05 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 6 817

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Same thing different taste

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 967

You deserved it 3 556

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 142

Matching

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 02:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 187

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 2 984

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 03:19 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 2 907

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 20:02 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 4 213

By My Life Is Just PERFECT - 30/03/2013 15:29 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 4 128

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - 05/11/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 220

You deserved it 5 589

By crapcrapcrap - 14/03/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 4 772

Joshwarrior 39

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:24

Maybe he thought you were boring :/ it works both ways you know

Sandsh8rk 36

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:29

"I was gonna get a girl, but then I got high...."

Comments

Super_Crys 2

Saturday 24 May 2014 16:29

Lmaooo he could've at least offered a hit

Puppys_Doll 28

Friday 1 May 2015 6:39

Ha! smoking is what made my boyfriend and I decide to start dating

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 242

You deserved it 37 870

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 284

The Top

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 951

You deserved it 4 810

Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 102

Today, as I was leaving church with a cake in my hands (mind you it was pouring, and I was in heels) I decided to walk on the road instead of the sidewalk so I could get to my car as quick as possible. Turns out, the road is slippery, and slipping means falling. With the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 316

Today, the lady of the house managed to buy all of the nastiest, yet somehow most expensive, items in the shop. You'd think pricey food would be tasty, but apparently the posh thing is grass clippings and wood shavings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 244

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 219

You deserved it 4 680

Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 798