Health and Food: MacArthur Park - FML

MacArthur Park

By Melody - 08/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, as I was leaving church with a cake in my hands (mind you it was pouring, and I was in heels) I decided to walk on the road instead of the sidewalk so I could get to my car as quick as possible. Turns out, the road is slippery, and slipping means falling. With the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 316

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/07/2011 04:26 - New Zealand

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 511

You deserved it 7 788

By LonnyLonnikins - 09/04/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 396

You deserved it 40 057

By fml - 04/01/2010 03:50 - Canada

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 834

You deserved it 34 843

By embarrassed - 20/12/2010 14:51 - United States

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 040

You deserved it 6 545

Look where you're going

By flicmybicgrl - 23/09/2020 08:01

Today, I was heading to class with all of my books and papers in my arms. To prevent tripping and falling down the stairs, I decided to take the elevator. On my way there, I slipped and fell because my books were blocking the wet floor sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 335

Misjudged

By VelociTheRaptor - 23/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 230

You deserved it 783

By mus - 23/04/2019 04:00

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 3 630

By cousin of the groom - 07/08/2018 01:30

Today, I stood too fast, got dizzy, and fell over. I fell on the grandmother of the bride, pushing her into the wedding cake table. Cake ruined, grandmother in hospital for a broken arm, and everybody mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 861

You deserved it 702

The cake was not a lie.

By Alex Knight - 07/11/2017 19:00

Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 4 115

By WestboroBC - 03/02/2009 22:56 - United States

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 434

You deserved it 72 404

Next

Top comments

Ubehage 32

Thursday 8 February 2024 15:47

God didn't want you to have the cake, I guess :)

DirtySalamander 9

Friday 9 February 2024 22:14

heels at a church? hmm

Comments

Ubehage 32

Thursday 8 February 2024 15:47

God didn't want you to have the cake, I guess :)

DirtySalamander 9

Friday 9 February 2024 22:14

heels at a church? hmm

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 10 February 2024 4:16

Honestly, I bet the sidewalk would have been just as slippery, so this was inevitable.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 91

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 65

Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 393

Today, my mum screamed that there is nothing wrong with me, after I literally coughed up blood in front of her. This all started over me getting my medications delivered to our house, as I’m not allowed out due to Covid-19 as I’m high risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 172

You deserved it 231

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 6 610

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 614

You deserved it 5 299

Today, I’m a student renting a room in an old lady’s house. The other lodger, who arrived a few weeks later, hates my guts now because my room has a tiny old TV and hers doesn’t. It wasn’t even my choice to take this room, it was decided by the landlady. But sure, I’m an evil, TV-hogging bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 90