Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online....

By ninja_blasphemer - 25/07/2011 19:24 - Ireland

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 063

You deserved it 7 783

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Same thing different taste

By thatgirl - 10/10/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 3 549

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 187

Proud boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 08:02

Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 187

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 415

You deserved it 10 168

By notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 878

You deserved it 8 579

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 833

You deserved it 5 084

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 112

You deserved it 7 774

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 03:19 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 2 907

Fake news

By sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 11 303

By Lori - 04/11/2015 18:46 - United States - Littleton

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date, he started talking about his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 768

You deserved it 1 982

Airick_TheGreat 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:34

so I'm guessing the date went ok?

GigaPudding_fml 24

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:35

Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?

Comments

apegirl907 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:27

coming from a drunk dumbass? who cares what he has to say?

Absurd101 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 7:00

my pet cat Penis

Cirso65 7

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:31

Cirso65 7

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:33

once u said nice guy i met online i knew it was gonna go down hill.

Lynzwood 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:33

send me dudes digits, he sounds hilarious!!!

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:34

Sounds like a WoW addict.

Halcyon3210 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:49

I think OP got trolled HARD

asianpersuasian2 9

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:49

hitler with boobs? maybe you shouldnt have slicked your hair back and you probably shouldve shaved off your little mini mustache before the date

xXRiah_GirlXx 9

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:50

....the ****?

Madiluvsyuh98 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:52

you gotta admit it's funny though...

asktherunes 4

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:54

so you just sat there & took his shit until he left??? what in the hell is wrong with you. are you a door mat

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I asked my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 504

You deserved it 7 861

The Top

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 319

You deserved it 5 529

Today, as I was ringing in a customer, I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this, I sniffed my hands because they had got wet, and said to the customer, "Oh, the can is leaking… want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 394

You deserved it 5 789

Today my friend invited me to an afro-indigenous event. Eager to learn more about my roots, I tagged along. The bean bag toss and warrior dance was fun, until the Q&A came and it was clear that the focus wasn't the African diaspora but "consistent ritualized self-improvement". Yup, it's a cult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 484

Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 308

You deserved it 4 598

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 65 815

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 3 171