Intimacy: Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went...

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 844

You deserved it 9 222

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 18 777

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 808

You deserved it 4 626

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 026

You deserved it 9 703

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 5 616

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 48 547

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 269

You deserved it 38 170

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 385

You deserved it 4 615

MrHotShot22 6

Saturday 15 December 2012 5:55

well I mean....it can shoot at you so maybe it is.

whostolemylama 12

Saturday 15 December 2012 5:57

It's not your fault, since its your first time, you don't know what the guy's sex rhythm is. FYL , that was a DICK thing to say.

Comments

pnutbutternjelly 15

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:28

Well if he is that much of a Dick then dump him. He doesn't deserve to get any.

hanymandy 6

Sunday 16 December 2012 4:43

Wow... Sounds like a keeper

timberwolf408 7

Sunday 16 December 2012 7:55

well msg me if you want some practice. then maybe film it & show him how good you really are... or was he just embarrassed that it took you so long to find the tiny thing??!?

BH1126 11

Monday 17 December 2012 1:50

Should've twisted his balls right after he said that. What a jerk.

sparklesvan 5

Monday 17 December 2012 10:23

Took the words right out of my mouth...um, keyboard.

MoeT8979 8

Tuesday 18 December 2012 4:30

There seems to be a lot of support for women will lil or no experience ... Too bad the same sensitivity isn't given for guys who are expected to know a woman's ****** more than she does

surrealJC 4

Wednesday 19 December 2012 5:21

the only time you go slow is when he's soft, to make him hard. use this rule. your pressure should be the same as his. lol. new girls suck at it I can vouch for that x3.