Love: Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead... - FML

By the other guy? - 29/03/2014 21:57 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 598

You deserved it 19 748

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By kel - 08/11/2013 23:50 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 955

You deserved it 7 472

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 143

You deserved it 2 360

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 834

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 608

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

Too much TV rots your brain (so they say)

By Itstheapocalypse - 26/11/2017 19:00

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 3 106

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 348

You deserved it 263

By can't win - 13/01/2015 16:25 - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 476

You deserved it 3 445

Public freakout time

By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 195

You deserved it 47 767

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 270

You deserved it 5 387

Next

Top comments

jannygirl11 2

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:45

By no one but her, hopefully?

scott1092 9

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:44

Good one tho.

Comments

HeyTherexxx 21

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:34

You shouldn't interrupt The Walking Dead. It's ridiculously intense.

martin8337 35

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:42

By whom, then?

Noreason89 6

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:43

Maybe her **** belong to only her and Koko

Smileforme86 4

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:48

Lol. Poor you.

SparkyRoxYurSox 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:53

You miiight wanna find out what she REALLY means by that.

Heisenberg01 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:02

Good!.

Credibleskills 28

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:09

Damn her comeback.... Hopefully she means they're hers....

bkeller 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:46

haha wow what a nice girlfriend

1tsmenoah 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:14

She really thought this one through didn't she?

access_unlimited 15

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:25

BURN..!!

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Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Gun control Relatable Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 72

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

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You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 302

You deserved it 5 738

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 3 790

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 729

You deserved it 2 773

Today, my heating broke. It's 22 degrees outside, and my father won't let us call someone to fix it because apparently the cold helps the soul grow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 372

You deserved it 2 994

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 569

You deserved it 20 397

Today, my daughter is so selfish, she did her makeup in her hospital room so she could take a selfie with her newborn son in the background BEFORE she had even held him for the first time. Yes, BEFORE. My grandson spent his first hour of life waiting for his mom to be ready for a photo op. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 440

You deserved it 324