Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless...

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 19:26 - United Kingdom - Gorebridge

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 549

You deserved it 2 436

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 814

You deserved it 43 260

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 028

By hobosarea-holes - 14/08/2010 23:10 - United States

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 292

You deserved it 3 765

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 434

You deserved it 52 207

By dude - 24/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 136

You deserved it 34 251

What a tool

By kash - 01/06/2015 18:14 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 059

You deserved it 3 211

By Tanner - 16/07/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 439

You deserved it 3 681

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 128

You deserved it 3 639

By coffee - 22/08/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 13 621

By Shopgirl - 06/08/2009 13:14 - Australia

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 428

You deserved it 4 436

Docbee 11

Friday 27 July 2012 22:53

You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

Redoxx_fml 22

Friday 27 July 2012 22:53

Why is the rum always gone?

Comments

eBall07 2

Monday 30 July 2012 4:33

Maybe he didn't want your money... But your actual booty

MyNameIsTatum 0

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:42

What is £?

Lady_Bee_fml 13

Tuesday 31 July 2012 14:01

Oh for heaven's sake, really?

stitesy29 18

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:41

Umm its spelled cologne Not colon Colon is where food turns into shit

mnaqvi 0

Wednesday 22 August 2012 8:08

Should've kicked him in his balls

amanrific 1

Tuesday 28 August 2012 20:34

Was it played perfectly by Johnny Depp?

yellow_jello 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 11:40

It's Captain Jack Sparrow

unicodndevil42 0

Tuesday 4 June 2013 1:41

I hope you mean cologne as in a scented fluid men use and not a colon as in an internal organ or a sign used to show a big division in a sentence (just to let you know I'm 13 and i know the difference).