Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard...

By jshi8 - 04/08/2011 14:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 79 889

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 644

You deserved it 7 284

Bought or stolen

By dump truck hater - 03/06/2015 16:18 - United States - Austin

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 783

You deserved it 2 221

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 662

You deserved it 539

By AwwChute - 21/02/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 019

You deserved it 32 718

By KO: - 30/04/2014 04:20 - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 544

You deserved it 5 116

By Typrokka - 22/10/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 155

You deserved it 32 185

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 036

You deserved it 3 030

Herbie Kirby

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 12:00

Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 114

By ToiletRoll - 29/03/2015 12:49 - Australia - Frankston

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 324

You deserved it 2 749

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 904

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

try a toilet next time?

nekros_fml 5

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

what are you doing taking a dump behind a dumpster? Were you born in a barn?

Comments

greekgal44 14

Friday 5 August 2011 1:38

hahaha ironic much?

EmilyJoSmyth 4

Friday 5 August 2011 1:51

What's ironic

EmilyJoSmyth 4

Friday 5 August 2011 1:45

That pisses me off. Use a loo damn it.

nubx 0

Friday 5 August 2011 1:48

This is 2011, we have toilets these now.

Countrygirl5 8

Friday 5 August 2011 1:57

may I ask why you didn't use the toilet?

sxe_beast 11

Friday 5 August 2011 2:03

I can't believe there hasn't been a "That's a shitty situation".

EmilyJoSmyth 4

Friday 5 August 2011 2:20

Ha lol

jokinboutit342 0

Friday 5 August 2011 2:06

Why? Couldnt you find a toilet? Thats what there for. YDI.

hahahah12 0

Friday 5 August 2011 2:16

You idiot!!

Bayfreshshorty 0

Friday 5 August 2011 2:29

Lmao, uhh, that's why they invented public restroom, idiot. You totally deserve it.

revengeofthenerd 1

Friday 5 August 2011 2:49

I drive a garbage truck. Today, I was lifting this dumpster as some a-hole was in the process of taking a dump behind it. FML.

neimato1 0

Friday 5 August 2011 2:59

Akward....

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Parents Health Scary Stressed out Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work Love My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Social Media Facebook Virginity Intimacy Sex Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Jealousy Coworkers AITA Anxiety

The Top

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 437

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 605

The Top

Today, one of my UNIVERSITY students submitted an incomplete assignment file to the online learning platform. I emailed him, "You will need to send me the correct file via email, as the system does not accept resubmissions." I literally got as a reply, "So, what do I need to do?" Online teaching is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 187

Today, I saw one of the gay kids from my class getting picked on, so I tried to stand up for him. Not only did I get my ass kicked, but now my girlfriend thinks I might secretly be gay. Why? Because, in her own words, "Straight guys never defend gay guys!" She fails to see anything wrong with this mindset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 197

Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 442

Today, I'm so afraid of Covid, I lied to my friends to avoid hanging out with them every time I was invited. Yes, I've been vaccinated already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 1 308

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 846

You deserved it 3 747

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 086

You deserved it 2 140

Same thing different taste

Trashed

Bought or stolen

Hobbies

Herbie Kirby

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