Miscellaneous: Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My...

By Ep1cF4ce - 26/07/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 084

You deserved it 3 419

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 2 839

By girl on fire - 03/09/2015 00:32

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 2 721

Release the tapes!

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 00:01

Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 313

By desertpunk75 - 19/01/2011 03:40 - United States

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 837

You deserved it 3 165

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 874

You deserved it 64 805

By RosaP - 28/02/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 328

You deserved it 42 363

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 680

You deserved it 311

What a massive clock

By Rhianna - 22/11/2009 04:05 - Australia

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 442

You deserved it 7 677

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 319

You deserved it 5 595

Sexy morning

By Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 740

You deserved it 274

HollyoaksFan93 9

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:09

Set his hair on fire while he's sleeping..

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:09

The idea of 'humor' in the human mind is turning rather primitive these days...

Comments

wagonmafia 7

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:16

I must see this video

whataloser1996 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:22

YouTube?

PSpiz 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:28

give him a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time

renlady_86 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:42

oh my god!! sorry that can not be funny. I think you should light his slippers, socks, jacket, hat, or whatever on fire. or call the cops.

CaptainDouche 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:43

YDI for wearing Justin Bieber slippers.

anyKRulez 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:55

What a douchebag! Who does that anyways?

sarasweetie 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:01

haha! i love this.

ReptarSwag 4

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:20

pour gas on him crotch then light it on fire and stomp it out with high heels, simple as that

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:49

You're james brown: got the hot foot. Oooww! Good god the hot foot.

beccalocs_fml 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:56

nice,is it on YouTube?!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 92

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

The Top

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 888

You deserved it 2 328

Today, while buying laxatives and really hoping the cashier wouldn’t make some snarky comment, the cashier said, "You know, that’s not a good way to lose weight." I had to explain to him that I’m actually constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 80

Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 456

Today, I got a complaint that I'm not performing as usual at my work. That's when I realised it was because I now prioritise my sleep and life over staying awake late at night to learn from the offshore team. I used to work during the ungodly hours of 2am to 7am daily and was then a zombie for the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 105

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 664

You deserved it 16 216

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 865

You deserved it 1 109