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"OH MY GOD!!! I just can't believe you took your eye and decided it would be an awesome umbrella holder so you could steal it. I mean, seriously? Your eye really tried to steal my umbrella!"

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because you would obviously giggle when you get hit in the eye with an umbrella. having bleeding eyes is so funny! (sarcasm)

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Man, I thought I got here early and I already see that this has been suggested twice. I was going to say the same thing.

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This is the 3rd FML I've read today where someone claimed shoving an object up someone's ass is the appropriate response. I feel like there is better ways to handling these situations. Could be wrong.

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Yep, as others already suggested, hitting them in the face with something works too. It's not all about the ass!

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He was probably embarrassed, because people tend to laugh when someone loses control of an umbrella due to wind. It's a funny sight. When the umbrella hurt you, he probably didn't know how to handle his embarrassment and opted to make you out as the villain. He's an asshat. Hope your eye is okay, that really does suck.

That must suck... i bet those people noticed that the guy with umbrella was clearly faking and laughed at him, if not then i don't know what was so funny in getting hit with umbrella or screaming that someone is "trying to steal it"

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