Animals: Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard....

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 20:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 8 869

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Same thing different taste

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 068

You deserved it 6 960

By Kira - 24/04/2015 17:09 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 13 562

By jodulieu - 02/09/2010 02:31 - France

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 643

You deserved it 4 447

By magicman - 04/07/2012 09:04 - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 159

You deserved it 31 424

By cycler - 13/06/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 954

You deserved it 12 622

Adding insult to injury

By Shibs - 13/10/2015 16:55 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 410

You deserved it 1 782

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 510

You deserved it 3 861

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 12 679

By Anonymous - 14/09/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 232

You deserved it 5 501

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 527

You deserved it 947

howslife123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:26

F the lizards life!!

Tyler12108 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:26

poor lizard :'(

Comments

snafu63 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:06

wow, way to use the brakes. oh wait...

MYOB1997 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:13

A lizard? Never seen one of those in the road.

Stephielovesyouu 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:31

ghbj

lemlikesrainbows 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:31

FYL, but hey, at least you tried!

laciloves 1

Monday 18 July 2011 3:33

Poor lizard just wanted to chill outside for once :(

zxjellydonutxz 7

Monday 18 July 2011 3:34

lol that made my day:)

Monkeyone 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:37

Hahahahaha

smexehXredhead0 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:44

Geico, save 15% or more on-- never mind...

Uneedanapbro 6

Monday 18 July 2011 3:46

What about the lizard's feeling in this ordeal?

grapisy 8

Monday 18 July 2011 3:55

Have we learned what brakes are for now?

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 181

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 611

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 183

You deserved it 7 406

Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 918

You deserved it 1 688

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 675

You deserved it 2 576

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 12 445

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 530

You deserved it 46 601

Same thing different taste

Adding insult to injury

Pile on

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