Health: Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on...

By fisted - 12/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 11 731

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 465

You deserved it 5 351

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 077

You deserved it 4 262

By ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 4 906

By Marc - 06/02/2012 21:43 - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 926

You deserved it 2 189

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 028

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 814

You deserved it 43 259

By sociallyawkward - 19/05/2016 01:52 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 687

You deserved it 3 494

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 14:00 - Belgium

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 166

You deserved it 4 161

Stranger danger

By erin - 02/04/2021 10:59

Today, I saw a girl with the same shirt as me. I excitedly pointed it out. She punched me in the face. I didn’t think people actually got mad about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 92

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 358

pabj208 23

Friday 12 June 2015 18:50

I think you had that coming...

brendejafulable 41

Friday 12 June 2015 18:50

You set your own self up for that.

Comments

tranced_ 45

Friday 12 June 2015 19:05

Maybe I should start wearing t-shirts with a "hug me or **** off" on it. .ohh wait I do !

ZoeeeGuyss 18

Friday 12 June 2015 19:06

You could've bumped him back.

jberg583 12

Friday 12 June 2015 19:11

I agree with #4.... Bump it... Not punch it

Cassandra2015 21

Friday 12 June 2015 19:12

I would have fist pumped him back

AyeJay101 25

Friday 12 June 2015 19:17

Well did you "bump" him back? In the face? With a chair?

ProSwimmerFL 16

Friday 12 June 2015 19:20

In his defense your shirt told him too , try again OP

CLT_420 13

Friday 12 June 2015 19:23

You had it coming bro

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 12 June 2015 19:36

Past-me trolls current-me all the ******* time. But he makes up for it by hiding money in coat pockets for future-me to find when the seasons change.

migmit 11

Friday 12 June 2015 19:36

You were asking for it. Literally.

S_Gnu 17

Friday 12 June 2015 19:38

Sounds like a New Yorker

Keywords

Kids Music Names Work Customers Coworkers Awkward Bodyshaming Roommate Landlords Money Parents Allergies AITA Dogs Neighbours Singing Cute Embarrassing Ironic Health Accident Cats Animals Airport Love Intimacy Cheating Sex Relationship advice

The Top

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 124

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 889

You deserved it 7 182

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 1 259

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 402

You deserved it 722

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 917

You deserved it 4 749

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 091

You deserved it 4 949

Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 014

You deserved it 597

Same thing different taste

Captain Badass

Stranger danger

Top comments

Comments