Intimacy: Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home...

By hlev24 - 03/03/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 048

You deserved it 6 717

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Same thing different taste

By Evan Chong - 13/07/2011 14:48 - Canada

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 4 379

Bad mom

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 673

You deserved it 71 320

By car trouble - 14/10/2016 08:12 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 167

You deserved it 772

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 06:31

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 109

You deserved it 11 336

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 03/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 188

Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 054

You deserved it 5 748

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 117

You deserved it 1 727

By cmd102 - 20/10/2011 21:18 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 426

You deserved it 3 357

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 21 051

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 2 264

LittleMissMack 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:30

Parents have sex, it's not that big of a deal. And its better than "Today, I didn't call my parents to let them know I was coming home. I walked in and heard my dad f*cking my mom. FML."

ajscott 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:28

Look on the bright side. At least you didn't walk in on them having sex on the living room floor.

Comments

Seegtease 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:44

Why do people not think parents do or should have sex? What, are you all 12? Remember, if your parents didn't have sex, you'd not be alive. Unless you were a test tube baby. FYL.

noahvs67 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:12

o so your saying you would rather see your dad f*ck your mom in the mouth or ass?

PenultimateTaco 14

Friday 22 November 2013 1:56

No, they're not. They're saying it's a normal thing, not that they actually want to see their parents sexin'.

LOLWUT_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:47

^ | | | LOL

callie510 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:53

1) it's good that you called first 2) hey, it's good that your parents have sex! don't you want to keep having sex all your life?

howdidithappen 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:01

Haha, lucky you called huh.

Bauer_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:07

I know when I get finished running marathons I like to relax by myself in my house.

kekecans 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:10

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

SFGuy1977 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:12

No one said your dad was having sex with your mom...you should have parked across the street and wait for your neighbor to come out.

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:23

How is that a big deal at all. Maybe it's because I don't live with my parents anymore, but I honestly don't think that it's this terrible awful thing that they have sex...