Miscellaneous: Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available...

By valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 5 447

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Same thing different taste

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 5 231

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 614

You deserved it 32 603

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 302

You deserved it 5 738

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 102

You deserved it 55 165

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 9 988

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 193

You deserved it 43 434

Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 843

You deserved it 51 107

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 207

By thatsureshowedme - 08/11/2014 20:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 094

You deserved it 30 465

By Jason - 12/08/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 731

You deserved it 44 379

Mpii 11

Wednesday 27 January 2016 15:05

Cheer up OP. None of us would have made it in easily. However you might want to highten your security. If you can make it in, so can someone else.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 27 January 2016 15:36

Only a ninja

Comments

Fr0gs 15

Thursday 28 January 2016 4:36

Its ok, ninja in training.

FarFromHome_fml 17

Thursday 28 January 2016 10:51

I mean, you could always have called a locksmith...

Lacalema 21

Friday 29 January 2016 10:08

Ydi. Ninja better.

popularonion 33

Sunday 17 April 2016 19:15

Better than a broken ankle and a sprained window! Wait...

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The Top

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 152

You deserved it 1 133

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 170

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 916

You deserved it 5 387

Today, I learned a hard lesson: when you order 12 artificial sweeteners and 6 packets of raw sugar with your home-delivered Starbucks coffee so that you can have a small hoard to sweeten up the coffee you already have at home, they just may put all 18 items in the cup and stir it up to your apparent liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 2 089

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 3 111

Today, I was demoted at my job for sleeping in the store when I'd have a few after closing. Apparently, they would rather have me drive drunk than do the responsible thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 688

Today, after I caught my husband cheating and lying, he had the nerve to claim it wasn't a big deal because, "I always come home to you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 506

You deserved it 395

Today, my daughter got upset because, even though I bought the car for her when she got her license, I told her it was her responsibility to pay the tax, insurance and MOT every year. End result, my daughter is a selfish brat and I returned the car, but lost a bunch of my deposit money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 378