Miscellaneous: Today, I was in church. After service was over, I stayed in a...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Stan017 - 11/12/2016 19:11 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was in church. After service was over, I stayed in a pew texting. Thinking no one was around anymore, I farted a few times loudly. As I got up to leave, I realized there were two people silently praying a few seats behind me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 147

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Top comments

sohigh10 34

Monday 12 December 2016 12:09

It was God's sign to those people

Comments

sohigh10 34

Monday 12 December 2016 12:09

It was God's sign to those people

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 365

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 261

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 455

You deserved it 19 624

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 7 923

Today, some people in my class here in New Zealand found out that I'm from Canada, then spent the rest of the period asking if I had a pet moose and whether or not I lived in an igloo. They were completely genuine questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 761

You deserved it 1 487

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy, which requires pet owners to carry their dogs in common areas after someone's dog kept peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 113

You deserved it 3 950

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 7 740

Today, I went to a cute frog-themed frozen yogurt shop that was surprisingly realistic. So realistic, in fact, that there was a dead fly in my yogurt. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 772

You deserved it 311