Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about...

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 615

You deserved it 36 580

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Same thing different taste

Mood breaker

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 06:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 186

By Lo - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 786

You deserved it 4 708

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 357

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 67 421

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Hh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 637

You deserved it 17 864

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 7 104

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 762

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 680

You deserved it 10 543

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 135

wholeon 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 23:30

I have my doubts about this one. 1. Many bathroom windows don't open, and even i they do, they are way too small to crawl out of. 2. Are we supposed to believe that a girl crawled out the window of your home and left buck-ass naked? Wouldn't you know something was up if she collected all her clothes off your floor first? What about her keys/purse/etc? 3. Why wouldn't she just go out the door? This just makes no sense...

SoBlonde_fml 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 23:26

Wow, she actually used the window. She didn't take the front door route. That's intense.

Comments

Denno_fml 0

Monday 6 April 2009 8:18

Agreed with #92, this one just doesn't hold water. Looks like someone's been watching too much American Pie or something.

MajorLeeScrewed 0

Monday 6 April 2009 9:51

You must be really bad.

tipple 0

Monday 6 April 2009 9:52

LMAO! I like #9 the best :-) We are left with some interesting alternative: 1. You are so bad at sex that walking home naked is a viable option; 2. You are so bad before sex that not getting undressed for sex is an important safety procedure; 3. You are so bad at sex that stealing your car keys and driving home naked is a viable option - have you checked the driveway recently? 4. You are so great at sex that after 5 mins of continuous orgasms, she had to stagger to the bathroom, crawl out the window and beg someone to drive her to hospital 5. You're neither great nor bad at sex, but she accepted a dare/$100 to start having sex with you then do a runner out the bathroom window so all her friends could laugh at you and read your FML. 6. You're actually quite good at sex, but pissed your last girlfriend off by cheating on her. She wrote an FML about this, and one of the puerile comments suggested she get a friend to start having sex with you then do a runner to make you feel completely inadequate.