Cars, Accident and Animals: Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving...

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 768

You deserved it 51 764

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Same thing different taste

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 13 339

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 732

You deserved it 2 891

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 736

You deserved it 8 408

By Bambi - 12/08/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 193

You deserved it 46 171

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 783

You deserved it 9 199

Time for a BBQ

By Anonymous - 17/05/2019 13:59

Today, my friend hit a bird with her car. She asked me to get it off for her, so I reluctantly complied. It came off. In pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 203

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 372

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 657

You deserved it 3 415

donkey79 0

Friday 15 June 2012 15:21

Unless you are a pirate then driving with a parrot on your shoulder is not allowed.

white16sox 19

Friday 15 June 2012 15:22

So, you got bitch slapped by a parrot?

Comments

b_rad_fml 4

Friday 15 June 2012 15:42

Only idiots drive with unrestrained pets or children! No sympathy from me!

Llamacod 11

Friday 15 June 2012 16:44

wait, I drive with children all the time...

Zomg_Okay 26

Friday 15 June 2012 17:54

30 - 13 said "unrestrained children". Children who aren't in their seat.

Rowdey 10

Friday 15 June 2012 19:18

41 - Llamacod's sarcasm can be easily confused with stupidity. It happens every few FMLs.

im_smart 0

Friday 15 June 2012 15:52

If you had pink eye and an eye patch over it you'd be a marooned pirate

Rowdey 10

Friday 15 June 2012 19:11

Your name is so ironic.

ShyAnn29 14

Friday 15 June 2012 15:52

Not unless OP said the same word over and over and over several times, I have 2 birds.

tennisrapper1 14

Friday 15 June 2012 15:52

Leave it in it's cage. Especially with pet birds. These occurrences are more common than people think.

Llamacod 11

Friday 15 June 2012 16:46

yes, because in all of my life I've heard about this 1 time, in this fml

tennisrapper1 14

Friday 15 June 2012 16:58

You're just helping validate my point.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 15 June 2012 17:56

When traveling, always keep your parrot in its Polly Pocket.

perdix 29

Friday 15 June 2012 15:54

You should have kept the dead parrot.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 15 June 2012 18:00

But then it would have muscled up to the car windows, and FOOM!

FMLephant 2

Friday 15 June 2012 21:56

Monty Python.

perdix 29

Friday 15 June 2012 23:50

That parrot wouldn't Voom if you put 40 million volts through him. e's bleedin' demised!

pengin 13

Friday 15 June 2012 16:00

lmao I hope you aren't surprised this happened. As they say, "it was an accident waiting to happen." lol

NIRVANA1990s 1

Friday 15 June 2012 16:40

well at least she didn't poop on you

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Friday 15 June 2012 18:10

Hopefully she did

AJRand 14

Friday 15 June 2012 16:46

What were you thinking would happen if you got into a wreck? Your seatbelt would hold you in but what about the bird?

22cute 17

Friday 15 June 2012 16:48

Good thinking! There's nothing in a moving car that could scare a wild animal.

miss_amazing86 10

Friday 15 June 2012 17:24

That's just stupid. You could've killed someone. You totally deserve it.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

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Same thing different taste

Time for a BBQ

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