Kids: Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 771

You deserved it 6 521

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 2 180

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 3 226

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 017

You deserved it 10 499

By nobabies - 10/12/2017 01:30

Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 261

You deserved it 478

By kate - 29/04/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 8 557

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 933

You deserved it 1 767

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 157

Blast from the past

By how old am I? - 07/05/2022 06:00

Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 113

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 407

You deserved it 45 236

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 6 139

rattusrattus 18

Monday 4 February 2013 12:08

Trust me, you were only saying what everyone else was thinking.

DocBastard 38

Monday 4 February 2013 13:09

The difference between a good kid and a bad kid is a good parent who isn't afraid to say "no".

Comments

wvcheesehead1 9

Tuesday 5 February 2013 5:39

Proper manners would have bee. to congratulate the host. If you were aggravated by their children you should have found a polite excuse to leave. Are people not taught social convention any more?

dangerika93 11

Tuesday 5 February 2013 6:10

Wow you guys are horrible. Children are messy, and sometimes they have there moments. That doesn't make them brats...

bigtime_rocker 11

Tuesday 5 February 2013 6:12

A truly righteous comment! Some people can't learn from their mistakes...

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 5 February 2013 6:21

79- Yeah, it does.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 5 February 2013 7:30

But, are you sure it was apple sauce...

LarryLaDouche 13

Tuesday 5 February 2013 8:44

I can't wait to have kids and raise to them to be warriors and trained in 7 different types of martial arts with 4.0 GPAs. Yeah, I'll be "that dad" but I'll have some bad ass kids.