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Today, I was crying and telling my boyfriend about my problems. When he suddenly stood up, I thought that he was going to grab me some tissues. Turns out he'd gone to get earplugs. FML

By tristounette - / Monday 12 December 2011 05:45 / Finland
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By  inks98  |  13

Wow... that's a bit insensitive.. I'm not going to say 'dump him!' But I think you need a serious talk. Communication is key and he should hear your problems and try to help you!

By  Nysha  |  17

Wow, everyone here is being so much more charitable than I would. A partner is supposed to want to hear about your problems so they can try to help, or at least be there for you emotionally. Not being interested + the level of passive aggressive BS it takes to go and get earphones instead of just saying "honey, I want to help but I need a break from the bad news right now" = one giant asshole who wants to get his out of the relationship without putting the work back in. So yeah, you know what I'm gonna say, dump his sorry ass already and spend your time around people who actually care about you.

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By  inks98  |  13

Wow... that's a bit insensitive.. I'm not going to say 'dump him!' But I think you need a serious talk. Communication is key and he should hear your problems and try to help you!

By  4everBroken  |  12

Mine just tells me to shut the fuck up lol..

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  Bearsmomma  |  30

I'm on pain medication long term (due to dying hip bones) and after taking one type of pill I'm chatty for about half an hour. When I'm trying to be serious and talk about issues my husband will ask "did you take a pill?". It's his way of saying I'm talking to much and shut the fuck up. He's come out and said the words before so that's how I know what his question REALLY MEANS. Sorry OP, Feel your pain... FYL

By  Nysha  |  17

Wow, everyone here is being so much more charitable than I would. A partner is supposed to want to hear about your problems so they can try to help, or at least be there for you emotionally. Not being interested + the level of passive aggressive BS it takes to go and get earphones instead of just saying "honey, I want to help but I need a break from the bad news right now" = one giant asshole who wants to get his out of the relationship without putting the work back in. So yeah, you know what I'm gonna say, dump his sorry ass already and spend your time around people who actually care about you.

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  Nysha  |  17

Even if she does, the solution is to talk about it, figure it why she's struggling so much, and find ways of letting her get the feelings out which don't put it all on her bf - like a counselor or setting aside a specific Bad News Dump time so it doesn't spill over into the rest of their lives. Not to be a petty, passive aggressive, hurtful ass.

By  Rabite  |  23

He does know that people stop crying and complaining if you just care about it for some time, right? If you can't deal with the problems of other people at the moment, which ist totally fine, then just be sensitive about it and tell them. At least you weren't sad anymore but angry after.

By  OhPuhleeze  |  23

Do you cry and tell your boyfriend a lot about your problems? Especially the kind where you don't want his suggestions or want him to fix them, but just listen? If yes, then YDI. You want someone to sit while you speak, he is there, isn't he? If not, maybe he just wants to end things with you.

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  Rabite  |  23

There are times when you just need to get this stuff off your shoulders and need a hug. If you want someone just being physically there and not even listening, you can better talk to a fucking cuddly toy.

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If you don't want to listen to other people's problems, then I don't think a relationship is for you. You're supposed to be there for each other in that way, and bottling up issues is not healthy at all and it will doom your relationship if you won't let your partner talk to you. People often just want to someone to listen to them just vent, especially when that someone is an significant other whose supposed to love and care about their life. It's more than just being physically "there," it's showing you're interested in what they have to say. It's the same way we ask people about their day or how they're doing just to listen, it's to show we care.

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  DanielleinDC  |  29

Even if she does talk about her problems a lot, there's a more sensitive way of handling it. He could make suggestions. He could say that he's feeling a bit stressed and can't handle her issues at the moment. But going up to get earplugs is just mean, passive-aggressive bullshit that reveals him to be an insensitive boob.

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  GhostFox  |  33

Even if that's what a therapist is for (and, actually a therapist is for helping you treat whatever they specialize in treating) the BF is still an asshole for handling it the way he did. It would have been a minute worth of talking- if that- to say, "-OP's Name-, I understand you are upset but I don't feel like I can give you the advice or comfort you are looking for at this time, on this subject." Around 30 words, and he would have come across as being reasonable instead of as coming across as someone who is selfish and doesn't care about the person he is in a relationship with as much as he cares about being in a relationship.

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