Love: Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out,...

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 4 772

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Same thing different taste

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 19 517

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 731

You deserved it 7 561

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 829

You deserved it 333

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 678

You deserved it 740

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 926

You deserved it 5 499

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 1 800

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 335

You deserved it 2 363

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 078

You deserved it 933

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

Comments

rekabdarb 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:05

At least she laughed instead of getting pissed the **** off

Root123 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:17

At least you say it was an accident.

fatality2009 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:39

Well... Accidents happen... Sometimes...

squirm 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:48

hhahahahahahahahahahahaha

shimmyya88 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:53

Your wife is awesome. lol

pancakelover 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 14:14

Did you motorboat them saggy *******?

constantine91 0

Wednesday 28 December 2011 12:55

Really?

foreverisabelx3 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 15:15

lmaoooo =]

Galpalxoxo 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 15:33

Did u like her boobs? And wat did the granny say?

Tbuccola 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 15:33

Wow, man! I salute you! This FML is one of the only really believable ones I've read in a long time!

Scorponok 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 15:45

That's hilarious. I hope someone snapped a photo.

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The Top

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

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You deserved it 59

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 279

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I agree, your life sucks 29 325

You deserved it 2 544

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 292

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 969

You deserved it 14 350

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I agree, your life sucks 2 587

You deserved it 155

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 797

You deserved it 34 367