Miscellaneous: Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich...

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 561

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 3 113

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 398

You deserved it 5 433

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 1 565

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 3 819

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 08:19 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 632

You deserved it 10 643

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 4 692

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 6 889

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 932

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 937

You deserved it 2 915

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 761

You deserved it 5 539

TheSuitGuy 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:18

There's a reason the signs say 'Don't feed the animals'.

MissGreenT 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:19

guess you could say you had a shitty day? FYL

Comments

loto_fml 3

Saturday 28 November 2009 3:40

YDI. The real reason your life is ****** is because you're too stupid not to follow simple rules that are in place for a reason.

optimus_prime420 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:04

YDI.. Like everyone else said, don't feed the animals!! [; haha, ur stupidity made my night.

army1312at 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:08

its not like he threw a rock at it calm down

SarcasticAvenger 9

Saturday 28 November 2009 20:28

Hey, #30, you must be related to the moron....I mean the OP. Rules are in place for a reason, you don't feed the animals.

Spurschick88 3

Saturday 30 March 2013 3:28

Its not like you're supposed to feed the animals

auds23 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:28

well its your fault for throwing something at the chimp, because he didn't know if you were being friendly or aggressive. there's a magical little thing called following the rules, so when it says don't feed the animals it really means don't feed the animals.

Tigg3r 3

Saturday 28 November 2009 5:16

as said above, everyone knows rules are just suggestions. ( IDC about grammmar.)

doomshark101 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:50

he didn't feed it. he just threw food into it's cage

capthavoc123 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:29

Obviously you have never heard any joke about monkeys ever created.

Mzzangel 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:47

they tell you not to feed them for a reason!!!!! you TOTALLY deserved it

Mzzangel 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:49

on anoter note. only the gorillas get sandwiches. peanut butter with anti depressants in them actually.... from the zoo keeper. (the only way we can get them to take the meds)