Intimacy: Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on...

By Mateo - 14/12/2008 03:58 - France

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 784

You deserved it 67 543

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Same thing different taste

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 615

You deserved it 6 819

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 218

You deserved it 8 311

A heads up next time maybe?

By Bob - 07/04/2020 02:00

Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 673

You deserved it 1 004

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 570

You deserved it 18 036

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 154

You deserved it 6 257

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 71 763

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 297

You deserved it 9 904

By konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276 740

You deserved it 37 114

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 307

You deserved it 21 311

Easy_Target 0

Monday 23 February 2009 23:29

Nice entrance, Romeo.

cndrow 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:38

Complete win! Ahaha. That's was a totally awesome idea- just slightly wrong timing.

Comments

thatsucks4u 0

Monday 30 March 2009 7:21

really? stab??? that sounds... painful.

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Sunday 28 April 2013 17:39

Agreed. Bad imagery>.

Time2Remission 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:29

Did he kick your @ss?

welsknight 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 4:21

bwahahahahahaha! Hmm... attention to your surroundings. Otherwise, brilliant.

InspiredByGaGa 8

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:41

hilarious.

minibrophdawg 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 22:15

hahahahahahahahah

TrueLover 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:34

ahahaha!!! Way 2 go, dumbass. Great impression, I'm sure.

NeverBAckDown_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 20:10

one of the best fml posted in this websites

hhhhyoyoyo 1

Tuesday 5 May 2009 3:54

PWNNNNNNNNNEEEED

AntiChrist7 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 19:53

can you only last that long? poor girlfriend

missbon 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 6:36

its nice to know that romance isnt dead! hahaha love it.

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The Top

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You deserved it 2 642

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I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 274

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You deserved it 2 513

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I agree, your life sucks 33 217

You deserved it 2 806

Same thing different taste

A heads up next time maybe?

Prank war W

Sexy surprise

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