Miscellaneous: Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's...

By Anonymous - 24/03/2012 22:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 976

You deserved it 4 546

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Same thing different taste

By imfromtexas02 - 06/06/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 434

You deserved it 12 620

By Anonymous - 28/10/2013 22:39 - United States - Slippery Rock

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 493

You deserved it 4 252

By JustWashedTheseJeans - 25/10/2016 01:05

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 188

You deserved it 1 921

By s3xygrandpa - 06/11/2013 19:09 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 721

You deserved it 5 121

By Anonymous - 08/03/2013 11:29 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 282

You deserved it 2 912

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 15:47 - United States - Cabot

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 253

You deserved it 2 884

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 242

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 535

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 012

You deserved it 2 788

By Hot Pants - 01/12/2011 17:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 428

You deserved it 5 808

lolipop1234_fml 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:33

Well thank you 16 for replying instead of just pressing thumbs down.

TheRealBrianGrif 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:22

Was it a story about meg?

Comments

Kai_The_Cat 9

Sunday 22 April 2018 19:47

get cameras you dumb piece of shit

Keywords

Embarrassing Social Media Work Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Health School Painful Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Relatable Anxiety Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Birthday Covid Relationship advice Cars Transportation Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 101

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 477

The Top

Today, I found out my husband and I are banned from family gatherings, all because he was my sister’s ex-husband. They need to come to terms with #1, that was 2 years ago; #2 we’re obviously a better fit for one another. If he was "the One", he’d still be hers; #3 you can’t force someone to love you when they don’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 076

Today, I got way too used to using two oven mitts at once to take food out of the oven since I'm so clumsy. So, when I tried to take food out of the oven with the only one oven mitt I could find… Well, take a wild guess what happened. Go on, just try and guess it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 343

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 111

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I wanted to experience the free breeze while riding on my bike, so I skipped wearing a helmet for the first time in a long while. I got fined just two minutes after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 143

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 3 883

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 161

Same thing different taste

Night terrors

Night terrors

Fast and Furious

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