Transportation: Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few...

By MakeItMaaco - 11/07/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 3 768

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 657

You deserved it 3 415

By inpain - 02/12/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 6 202

Gone bird

By Whoops - 06/06/2011 01:44 - United States

Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 731

You deserved it 4 530

By me. - 14/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 3 856

Paintwork

By MY CAR - 15/11/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 904

You deserved it 11 138

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 733

You deserved it 2 891

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 61 960

Where to start?

By doggone - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United States

Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 127

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

Niicky_fml 20

Monday 11 July 2011 23:19

do the chickens have large talons? *adjusts glasses and sniffles*

Mi24hind 0

Monday 11 July 2011 23:18

Hawks. They will admire themselves while destroying cars.

Comments

craig24 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:03

do chickens have large talons?

jaaaclyn 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:35

"do they have large talons?"

emo4ver1111 6

Monday 18 July 2011 1:43

do chickens have lage talons 6 dollors!!!!!!!!!!! thats like a dollor an hr! lol

zfchatroulette 24

Sunday 3 February 2013 22:31

Comment #96 makes no sense whatsoever.

acf7597 4

Monday 18 July 2011 18:56

Hawks man. Thats why I only let eagles on my ride

aurorablack 8

Friday 20 April 2012 0:25

Who cares about the car? You had a hawk land on it. Nobody's ever gonna experience that!

Supernovas_Child 13

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:10

When I read this the first time, I didn't even finish it, because I was too busy going, "OMG BIRDD"

PrimeStarscream 30

Thursday 18 April 2013 4:49

Watch out for Andalites!

commentgirl 8

Sunday 22 December 2013 23:08

Was it Tobias?

Keywords

Awkward Motherhood Health Money Transportation Lonely Dentist Sadness Abuse Work Nepotism Relatable Ironic Parents Miscellaneous Birthday AITA Food Love Virginity Intimacy Sex OCD Mental health Housework Cute Cleaning Creepy Argument Kids

The Top

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 2 287

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 3 114

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 112

You deserved it 6 244

Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 793

You deserved it 959

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 3 699

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 223

You deserved it 65 486

Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 726

You deserved it 366

Today, I saw my friend at the mall. He didn't see me, so I called him to say "Turn around." He took one look at his phone, snorted loudly enough for me to hear from way off, and put it back in his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 909

You deserved it 2 409