Health: Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have...

By walnutbladder - 07/01/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 807

You deserved it 4 077

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Same thing different taste

Piss poor performance

By kelsey - 02/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, if I need to pee, I have less than a minute to get to a toilet before I pee myself. It’s been like that since I was a kid and my family won’t stop making fun of me for not growing out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 109

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 4 715

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 5 048

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 99

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 124

You deserved it 53 766

By "Jam2019" - 15/02/2019 14:00

Today, despite using the bathroom before I left my house, then at the bus station 10 minutes later, I still had to get off my bus halfway into my hour long journey to pee in a back alley or I would have wet myself. I'm 24 and this has happened twice in the last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 244

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

By PeedMom - 16/03/2018 09:00 - United States - Cedar Bluff

Today, I had to pee really badly. I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and sat on the toilet. After a few seconds of peeing, I realized I had only pulled down my pants. Not my underpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 990

You deserved it 1 828

By forgotten - 21/09/2010 22:16 - United States

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 141

You deserved it 7 421

key_2010 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

You need Depends.

Penaman 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:10

That would really suck if you are with a group of people.

Comments

Timmo_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:08

Today I realised that everytime I read a clearly made up FML, I want to punch the person who wrote it. Hard.

Timmo_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

Why was this moderated?

Penaman 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:10

That would really suck if you are with a group of people.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:15

*drip* *drop* *drip* *drop*

Timmo_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

Today, I realised that everytime I hear someone sit on a whoopee cushion, I shit myself.

DudeImBetter 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:50

you should try and get a spot in history as the women who took the most amount of pisses throughout her life. I'll support you all the way.

lolpwnagelol 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 3:36

tick tick tick...

key_2010 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

You need Depends.

tayytayyy 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:13

I was gonna say that :P

lsms 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:13

thts suxx for u :(

emilyxorawr 3

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

Wear diapers!

bengermin 5

Monday 6 June 2011 8:02

...I do!

ViolentBears 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

It could be worse, OP. :) You could crap your pants every time instead.

perez758 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

this sounds like a good thing to me.. like when you have to give a sample for testing at the doctors this is very useful.

alwa7sh 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:16

I hope you get one of those mini fountains as a gift :)

GuitarNukka520 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:16

Bladder Infection?

hadi_brown 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

daayummm...

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 829

You deserved it 10 516

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

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You deserved it 475

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 175

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 959

You deserved it 3 901

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 327

You deserved it 4 228

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I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 87

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 677

You deserved it 36 210

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 515

You deserved it 22 636

Same thing different taste

Piss poor performance

Walk, don't run

AKA taking a screenshot

Top comments

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