Animals: Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to...

By baconman86 - 03/10/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 155

You deserved it 27 060

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Same thing different taste

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 371

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 129

I want to smell feet

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 14:01

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 146

By blabla - 28/10/2011 13:30 - Brazil

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 12 995

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 104

By hitchcock2013 - 07/05/2013 17:10 - United States - Taylor

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 703

You deserved it 13 300

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 4 899

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 752

You deserved it 7 060

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 93

CRrawsum 7

Monday 4 October 2010 2:18

that is too funny

illmatic2 16

Monday 4 October 2010 2:26

How would a car help out at all?

Comments

thecrazyasian 3

Monday 4 October 2010 8:25

shittiest fml ever

PacoIsATaco 0

Monday 4 October 2010 8:47

It's just shoes. I mean really, it's not the end of the world. I wear the same old chanclas (sandals) everyday and I'm doing just fine.

Independantlove 0

Monday 4 October 2010 8:47

may I ask why you put them on the roof? do you not have a dryer? @-@ ydi!!! >:3

bboydugan 3

Monday 4 October 2010 8:55

next time try a window

yaysmile 0

Monday 4 October 2010 9:21

i say etnies and DCs :) they are soo comfortable

yaysmile 0

Monday 4 October 2010 9:21

i say etnies and DCs :) they are soo comfortable

sistercrissi 0

Monday 4 October 2010 11:22

do you have go-go gadget arms that allow you to reach out the window and reach the roof?!?!

iiiLoveeeYouuu 0

Monday 4 October 2010 13:18

lol! :')

at1325 0

Monday 4 October 2010 15:10

what was so wrong about letting them dry inside the house dumbass

jacomarine89 5

Monday 4 October 2010 21:54

why were your good shoes sopping wet?

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Kids Fight Love Students Relatable Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 916

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 374

You deserved it 7 607

Today, I found out that four years ago, my fiancé and the father of my children had sex with my younger sister twice, one of those times being in my house while our baby and I were sleeping in the next room. Couldn’t be better timing as I start chemotherapy in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 116

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 13 831

Today, my boyfriend is 34 years-old. We’ve been together for 5 years. He refuses to propose to me because “marriage is expensive” and “kids drain your wallet.” That would be understandable if he hasn’t spent the majority of his paychecks on March Madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 350

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 827

You deserved it 4 499

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 038

You deserved it 2 265