Intimacy: Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never...

By theish - 04/02/2011 14:08

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 092

You deserved it 7 007

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 16:05 - Germany - Kerpen

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 1 740

Tanned

By caughtorangehanded - 01/10/2010 22:12 - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 904

You deserved it 46 323

By cole66 - 29/11/2015 18:43 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 3 163

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 459

You deserved it 3 050

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 9 322

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 900

You deserved it 4 581

Drink it instead!

By SpitBreathe - 25/10/2020 14:00 - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 75

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 952

You deserved it 8 654

By redeye - 19/09/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 668

You deserved it 2 458

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 101

You deserved it 609

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:11

Better check your toothpaste.

uberletepoon 10

Friday 4 February 2011 19:15

check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69

Comments

Ricky_Ford 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 10:02

You should fart on his pillow.

Sindy_fml 4

Saturday 5 February 2011 10:24

LOOOOOOOOL!!

sleepygamer 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 10:47

Suggested retaliation: Take his shampoo. Empty out about 1/3 of it. Replace the remaining third with one half urine, and one half Nair. Or, you know. Shit in his bed or something.

mightymart 5

Saturday 5 February 2011 11:21

wow, thats pretty ******* gross!! not to mention the extreme gayness of two guys jerking off in the same bottle.. I think they watched "theres something about Mary" a little too often..

petitchat3 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 15:55

ahahahaha prob works better than the gel anyways

vettle 6

Saturday 5 February 2011 16:14

this is fake. there is no way you wouldn't have noticed.

Christopher08 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 16:32

this means they jerked off everyday to keep that gel container full an why the hell would your brother do sumthing. stupid like that and let his friends damn they got issues

JohnFR33M4N 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 18:01

First off...does **** have a smell? Second, the guys could've like dick-hovered over the lotion and then blasted into it, or into dixie cups and then emptied it.