Love: Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine,...

By Ltl_Dust_Bunny - 23/03/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 874

You deserved it 9 490

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Same thing different taste

MLM FML

By Maddi - 04/05/2016 02:55 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 918

You deserved it 1 373

By notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 879

You deserved it 8 579

Smooth

By firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 2 575

Sounds like a keeper

By Rae - 30/03/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 127

By holyshitbatman - 09/11/2012 04:53 - United States - Toledo

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 917

You deserved it 3 019

Get out of there, fast

By LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 125

Fake news

By sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 113

You deserved it 11 303

By blueglover - 27/03/2012 07:40 - United States - Perris

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 950

You deserved it 3 696

By lamesauce - 15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 837

You deserved it 3 051

By nononame - 10/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 167

You deserved it 4 184

erm 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:09

Whoa...You actually MET Tom Cruise?

cchamp27 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:08

And how is your life f*cked as a result of this?

Comments

Peacewind 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 7:02

sounds like a total trekky boy

1999Brawler 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 11:29

Was he by any chance Itsuki Koizumi? XD Haruhi reference.

dsegui4 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 18:30

soooo he's unique......???

col535 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 15:55

my soon-to-be girlfriend thinks she is an alien. do I care? No! I'm dating an alien! this is awesome!! I don't hate it, I love it!!

neroo_fml 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 3:58

You sure you weren't on 'Disaster Date'?

authorkid 2

Friday 25 June 2010 8:45

this would make him m dream guy. you are very boeing, OP

ncvolley123 8

Tuesday 17 August 2010 6:25

Sounds like my kind of man!!! JK.

jsx12345 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 15:12

This isn't an FML. Fine you guy didn't get together... not a big deal. It's not like you got hurt. 1-Correct!

ariissocutelike 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:35

Someone wishes he was Daniel X

dfhgjrthyfuikfrd 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 1:18

that's ******* awesome! :D

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Stressed out Parents Health Scary Cars Embarrassing Transportation Work First Dates Love My ex LGBTQIA+ Social Media Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Jealousy Coworkers AITA Skincare

The Top

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 1 013

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 904

You deserved it 2 784

The Top

Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said, "Hopefully never." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 486

You deserved it 2 813

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 827

You deserved it 5 970

Today, my now ex genuinely thought I’d buy the idea that he hasn’t answered a call or text in five days because he thought the "government" was "tracking" him. When I refused to buy his excuse, he raged that I was a "trained sheep." He was actually shacked up with his married coworker at the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 95

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 539

You deserved it 24 637

Today, I made plans with my boyfriend for some "alone time" after work. I then stepped on some black ice in the parking lot, landed on my head, and got sent to the ER. Per protocol, until cleared by a specialist, I am not permitted to work. Or drive. Or drink. Or do anything "strenuous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 234

Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 2 126