Health and Animals: Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out... - FML

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 369

You deserved it 3 449

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 551

You deserved it 12 036

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 450

You deserved it 2 648

Waxing and waning

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 074

You deserved it 5 349

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 2 642

By Xandriajoy10 - 08/03/2016 11:56 - Australia

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying 2 minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 621

You deserved it 1 574

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 20:30

Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 919

You deserved it 298

By John - 26/03/2012 02:53 - Saint Lucia

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 676

You deserved it 3 031

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 842

You deserved it 13 637

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 205

Next

Top comments

Codezlol 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 12:14

Did you name him Jiminy??

isallwaysme 27

Saturday 26 January 2013 12:13

that little bugger

Comments

lowshadows 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:23

just let your conscious be your guide.

buckdharma 36

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:41

I have a bet whether it was a common field cricket or a snowy tree cricket? (there's a comic book riding on this.) Does anyone know professor (creepy) Crawley's phone #.

bethelise 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:48

nasty

EmberFury 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:15

♪You've got a friend in me...♪

yannabanah 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 16:38

Toy story? Really.

EmberFury 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 17:55

Yeah, I guess I'm alone on this one. Ah well.

perdix 29

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:25

So, when you tell your new friend a really great joke, do you just get crickets?

love_isnt_enough 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:36

Still a better love story than Twilight.

SpikeyKitten 5

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:46

I've a a beetle pulled outta my ear!! Everyone in the hospital watched.. Now they call me buggy!

iloveandy143 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:50

It was still alive?!

countrygal500 1

Saturday 26 January 2013 16:20

well...on the bright side you have a new friend?

beacbum7 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 16:28

WORKAHOLICS!!

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The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 147

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 910

You deserved it 1 725

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, Mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 665

You deserved it 7 269

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 796

You deserved it 4 348

Today, my bedroom in my gran's house gets the most sun in the evenings. There is no AC, not even a fan, and the only place cool enough to sleep is the basement. Which probably hasn’t been cleaned since the '80s, and I have to share it with the biggest spider ever and a beehive in the roller shutter casing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 188

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 018

You deserved it 3 224

Today, at my gender reveal party, my daughter threw a huge temper tantrum and knocked over tables and chairs screaming, “Fuck this shit!” when the reveal came out pink. She’s five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 1 190