Miscellaneous: Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 05:01 - Canada - Lansdowne

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 112

You deserved it 4 761

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Same thing different taste

By gassygirlfriend - 10/05/2015 08:40 - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 040

You deserved it 5 127

By methane overload - 19/01/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 205

You deserved it 3 829

By DMStarsky - 21/10/2011 17:19 - United States

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 579

You deserved it 4 691

By Jimseagoon - 03/09/2018 20:30

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 843

You deserved it 439

By Aphrodite - 23/01/2010 21:13 - France

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 129

You deserved it 7 741

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 381

You deserved it 4 049

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 1 600

Hiking is so much fun!

By Sacho - 24/10/2019 20:00

Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 167

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 500

Next

Top comments

ThatTennisKid14 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:04

That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level

BreM16 23

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:07

Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead

Comments

jared76_fml 11

Thursday 4 June 2015 14:03

Hahaha my day is made

sezwhooo 7

Thursday 4 June 2015 14:49

wht I want to know is why did you lay there while she had a shartpalooza on ur tummy? secret shart fetish perhaps hmmmm...?

mustangbravo 27

Thursday 4 June 2015 16:38

You tried to be the good bf at least.

Daevas 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 17:29

I really like the wording on this FML.

cjfred 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 17:34

You're lucky it didn't escalate, OP. If she'd eaten enough Taco Bell, you could have been seriously injured in the resulting Shartnado.

AlpacasInTopHats 11

Thursday 4 June 2015 18:46

Maybe don't force her to stay there if she's trying to get away to go to the bathroom like my boyfriend did. I didn't have the runs but I needed to pee really bad and almost pissed my pants.

Miss_Mandi 29

Sunday 7 June 2015 11:15

I almost ended up like OP's girlfriend once, because of what #97 described. Go easy on her, she must be feeling like she'll never live it down, and don't tease her about it.

samlovesham1234 9

Thursday 4 June 2015 21:15

Ewwww!!!

Saraishi 24

Friday 5 June 2015 9:30

Eeeewwwwwww. OP, no! Ewwwww.

ilanie04 16

Friday 5 June 2015 20:12

oh god ew

Rosemarypr 8

Sunday 7 June 2015 7:17

I feel worse for your girlfriend.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 2 117

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I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 1 977

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I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 166

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I agree, your life sucks 32 692

You deserved it 3 885

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I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 3 175