atleast it didn't poo on you!

scratched by a liger while attempting to save a supermodel？(:

Announce with pride

lol awyeah

now that woulda been unfortunate

I don't get it that's a perfectly good reason.

You were making out with your prostitute, when you went for her neck, and she had sharp earings?

damn nature you scary

lol!!

Tell them it was a giant mutated pigeon.

I dunno dude. Being clawed by a pigeon seems pretty badass.

pigeon used scratch it's super effective

At least it wasn't a cock that attacked your face. I had to tell my friend I was clawed by a cock before, damn chickens.

real life angry birds...never thought I'd see the day

It is. I thought OP was going to say they walked into a glass door or something. the disappointment is thick.

wow, stitches from a glass door would have been funny. I had to look at OP's location because I was going to work in New Rochelle yesterday and saw pigeon wings and idk what the other part was, but no body. (obviously it must be dead) It was weird that op had a bad experience with a pigeon in France, and I see a bodiless one on New York... Almost like OP willed it to happen... And I'm not lying. If anyone lives in New Rochelle, it was outside of the Metronorth, near memorial highway before you cross the street, right where all the cabs stay. It may still be there. (excuse my lack of capitalization if I missed 1 or 2... iPods don't fix that automatically)

133- tl; dr.... too long didnt read!

Say you got mugged in a dark ally late at night and the guy that mugged you stabbed you in the face a few times...and the scars just happen to look like claws

why not ?! just admit it

exactly!

There's nothing embarrassing about getting attacked by a bird.

33 Ironically your picture is a bird.

I got attacked by an owl once.
She was nesting in my horse's stable, and I, unaware of her presence, unwittingly disturbed her when I was mucking out.
I wasn't ashamed, everybody thought I was like, Chuck Norris for fighting off an owl.

tell them it had knives for feet.

Kudos, 53; you managed to make me laugh. If you had any idea how difficult it is to make me laugh, then you'd be proud.

^how much you charge?

It varies depending upon what services you require.
As the world's only unicorn in the prostitution business, you must understand my fees run high.

Yea 33, especially a bird as badass as a pigeon.

And Op, you kinda got "taloned" not clawed.

67 your talking to a Epic pear shouldn't your fees be lowered, like c'mon what kind of Unicorn doesn't want to do nasty things to a pear of epicness.

do chickens have large talons?

Well, 55, I am proud to say you have a terrible sense of humor.

Exactly, what's wrong with that explanation?

Tell them that you were playing angry birds and one of them left the screen and attacked you

omg i love that!!!!

love!

loveeeeeeee

I would say that wolverine attacked me after I did an impression of him with Freddy fingers while he watched from behind my back. Then I would say that I hit him in the back of the head with a rolling pin when he flipped me off with his middle claw.

104 screen name is amazing....
I love angry birds too:)

lol 106 Your the second person to tell me that.

lol angry birds is so cool :D

say u were clawed while banging a super model.

Tell 'em you ran out of peanut butter. One excuse is as good as another.

The pigeon got scared of your face. Sorry to break it to you, OP.

Tell them you got into it with Santa. Even their kids will look up to you.

amen to that

tell them the trueth if they laugh then they aren't your true friends

Or it's not the end of the world, so they are true friends?

umm that's not really true lol. if one of my true friends got attacked by a bird I would laugh

Co-workers, not friends...

lol, they probably wouldnt believe you anyway

or it's not the end of the world, so they are true friends?

my friends would laugh at me. but they'd probably half expect something like that from me lol. BUT I would also laugh if it happened to them :{)

who knew pigeons were so violent?.

I did. I won't say how I know this.

You can't just say that! I am quite intrigued now..

Come on 65 lol we all want to know now! XD do you need to create an FML

me! mind I live with a pet one who's favorite games are peck my head and attack my fingers as I try work