Dogs and Animals: Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from...

By noooooo - 21/02/2016 16:03 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from barking at the guy fixing our water heater. One of them is stress-farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 999

You deserved it 2 213

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Same thing different taste

Get out

By This is gonna suck - 24/04/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I have a huge work project which absolutely requires a healthy amount of working at home to get done in time. This wouldn't be a problem normally. Except, thanks to my roommate's noisy dogs, I no longer have a "quiet zone" where I can buckle down on things and not be disturbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 140

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 583

You deserved it 4 008

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 150

Get me out

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:58 - United Kingdom - Duns

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 970

You deserved it 9 347

Leaking all over the place

By JR. - 08/08/2020 20:02

Today, my nearly ex-husband called in a panic so I could come rescue the dogs, because he'd called 911 due to a gas leak at the house. I came over, after which the fire department and gas company took a look, and they found the issue. The dog. The dog had farted so bad, it smelled like rotten eggs, and was mistaken for a gas leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 148

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 995

You deserved it 77 606

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 10 112

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 2 595

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 648

You deserved it 1 021

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 178

LittleGina 8

Monday 22 February 2016 10:04

This is definitely the funniest FML I've seen in a while. It actually made me LOL.

AmberNowaki 21

Monday 22 February 2016 10:02

Hopefully the dogs weren't eating anything that made it smell worse.

Comments

MadeUpUsername 13

Friday 26 February 2016 16:02

Awe, poor puppies :(

ZombieSlaya115 17

Tuesday 2 August 2016 2:06

lol

Keywords

Clumsy Accident Health Relatable Periods Airport Vacation Food Embarrassing Cats Zoom Work Animals My ex Awkward Love Parents Kids DIY Plumbing Miscellaneous Transportation Clothes Fire Bodyshaming AITA Relationship advice Break-ups Ironic Cute

The Top

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 066

You deserved it 234

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 533

The Top

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 759

You deserved it 73 888

Today, I was talking with a friend and somehow the topic of Albert Einstein popped up. He started referring to Einstein as American and I laughed. I then realized he was serious. My IQ has dropped even further from Einstein's as a result of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 171

Today, I had lower lumbar back surgery. I'm in horrible pain, my kids are wedged up my butt even though my husband is home, and I've heard nothing from friends or family, not even a check-in to see how it went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 147

Today, my dad went on a rant about how police are scum, timewasters, corrupt arseholes, and a waste of taxpayer money. I’m a police officer, and I’d had to pull him over because he was swerving all over the road while getting road head from a woman who was not my mother, to whom he is still married to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 164

Today, i managed to carve an hour out of my daily working-from-home grind to get some exercise and fresh air, only to spend all of that time stuck in the bathroom trying to take the same shit. I fucking loathe having Crohn's disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 95

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 277