Health: Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a...

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 751

You deserved it 56 754

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 4 984

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 431

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 624

You deserved it 2 522

Freak Scene

By antsgomarching - 06/10/2020 17:01

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 104

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 342

By Anonymous - 06/10/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 770

You deserved it 8 926

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 110

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 703

You deserved it 4 858

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 4 355

angela3222 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 8:59

EW WTF.

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Wednesday 29 December 2010 8:59

Shave.

Comments

karmennn 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 13:51

that's disgusting!! you should probably try showering

whitecloud197 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 7:45

jesus...shower much ?

bbonander 0

Monday 16 May 2011 18:51

that's quite disgusting

iWinRar 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 11:50

Pretty sure I seen you on the terrorist watch list. Someone report him.

epiccjenny 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 10:09

This is just super gross , how could you nit notice something like that ?! Take a shower shave it off BURN IT ! Do something that is just FILTHY !

magikarpman 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:45

damn dude that sucks

Littbuff 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 4:32

Hell w crabs... Its ants nw!

lsheldon2018 14

Thursday 28 July 2011 13:13

knowing you exist makes me want to vomit

chahacha599 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 0:26

*pulls out ant* WOAH! what else is in here *puts hand in pulls out elephant* :o

mousepad41 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 3:59

This is sooooo obvious that I shouldnt even be telling you this: SHAVE

Keywords

Animals Cute Cats Awkward Family Sex Intimacy Alcohol Coworkers Work Health Psychology Mental health Weird Relationship advice Love AITA Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Stressed out Parents Scary Dogs Birthday Cake Cars Embarrassing Transportation Cooking

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 275

You deserved it 14 941

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 621

You deserved it 6 969

The Top

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 378

You deserved it 3 643

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 881

You deserved it 3 126

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 195

You deserved it 3 227

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 281

You deserved it 7 775

Today, I had to attend an appointment and was told I should be prepared to be in hospital all day, so I booked a day off work. The appointment was trivial and lasted 10 minutes. I work paycheque to paycheque to feed myself and 2 kids, and even missing one day will hurt by the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 153

Today, after finishing work and collecting my bag from my locker, I yawned as my manager came to ask me a question. She yelled at me for yawning. She then told others that I have a chronic yawning problem at work and need medical intervention. I can't even yawn once after a long tiring day on my own time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 74