Miscellaneous: Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway...

By what have i done with my life - 21/07/2013 17:46 - United States - Akron

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 637

You deserved it 6 016

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Same thing different taste

Source?

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 6 085

Childish

By jade - 11/01/2022 17:01

Today, I was talking to a guy when he pointed behind me and said, “Hey, what’s that?” I looked behind me and he burst out laughing, saying he “can’t believe I’m so stupid that I still fall for that old trick.” We were having a conversation, not a physical fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 144

By BannedfromFriend - 20/05/2015 23:21 - United States

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 832

You deserved it 10 912

You're so vain…

By Anonymous - 17/01/2022 05:01

Today, my girlfriend of two years took offense to a "That's what she said joke", and blew up, saying she doesn't like those jokes. She thinks that she is the "She" of the jokes every time I guess. I tried explaining how the jokes work, but she wouldn't believe me. She says that I'm just lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 377

By fakelaugher - 20/12/2010 03:41 - United States

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 287

You deserved it 24 292

It's all downhill from here…

By Tree Hugger - 22/12/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I went skiing with a friend of mine. He went first. I heard a loud *THUD* and went to investigate. When I went past him, he yelled, "I ran into a tree. I don't feel so good!" He said it in such a defeated and humorous way, that I crashed into a tree myself because I couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 839

By AnonymousAmber - 31/10/2014 23:10 - United States - Yadkinville

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 2 866

Be careful, please!

By WolfsScar - 08/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 543

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 497

You deserved it 1 642

By Anonymous - 04/11/2013 11:39

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 067

You deserved it 71 953

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 July 2013 2:13

Well, it is a natural reaction when you're getting blown.

beclaurela 17

Monday 22 July 2013 2:17

The wind just penetrates the branches relentlessly. What else would happen?

Comments

buckdharma 36

Monday 22 July 2013 3:12

Yes, when the wind blows that's usually what gets a tree's nuts off.

puffleprincess 7

Monday 22 July 2013 13:52

Ha! (:

JudgeComrade 17

Monday 22 July 2013 3:46

Now tell her that when she has orgasms, it's actually just her swaying from the "cosmic winds."

buckdharma 36

Monday 22 July 2013 4:03

The poor Weeping Willow, she always had to use her Palm. I wish that was Himalayan on my Buckeye. Then it happened! He fell for her Ash! Their romance didn't last long though because he soon found out she was really a Beech and was only trying to get knocked up, not knowing he was a Rubber tree.