Health: Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting...

By Jobby - 30/06/2012 12:48

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 757

You deserved it 2 713

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By yegworstdrivers - 20/12/2018 10:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 715

You deserved it 189

By meish - 05/06/2016 13:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 498

You deserved it 980

By stutson - 04/06/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 888

You deserved it 2 249

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 586

You deserved it 3 492

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 775

Smells like Toddler Spirit

By anon - 06/03/2017 00:00

Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 613

You deserved it 377

Food poisoning

By brown and sticky - 16/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538

You deserved it 203

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 199

You deserved it 2 766

By thompson773 - 20/04/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 347

You deserved it 9 794

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 844

You deserved it 16 265

MetallicaRules19 4

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:28

Two tampons and a plug ought to do it.

mea_iloveskiing 26

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:28

At least you're not pregnant. =)

Comments

JesseJimenez 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 21:45

Yikes!

cariiiii 0

Thursday 5 July 2012 2:57

This is literally the same exact thing that happened to me last week. t(-.-t)

tigers803 0

Tuesday 10 July 2012 8:16

wow, truly a series of unfortunate events...

bringmethejordyn 7

Monday 16 July 2012 5:11

Well some people get vomiting and diarrhea when they're on their period, so maybe that's it :)

shitone 9

Tuesday 16 October 2012 9:50

This is one of the worst FML's ever. I'm sorry OP. sounds like the worst day ever

borderlineasian 14

Friday 6 December 2013 5:29

I wonder what people's excuses for YDI are...

ABlankSp_ce 5

Sunday 9 March 2014 2:55

It says your a boy... but you got your period?

kusje 29

Saturday 23 April 2016 1:22

Who has four flights?!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Health Scary Stressed out Parents Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work Love My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Facebook Social Media Virginity Intimacy Sex Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 58

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 1 750

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 767

You deserved it 3 889

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 3 058

Today, if I’m not at work, I’m spending my time racing back and forth between sheer relief that I’m no longer married to my ex-husband and that I’ve got my freedom and independence back, and bursting into tears because the slightest thing reminds me of him, and I miss the awful twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 248

Today, I dinged my boss's very expensive car. My car wasn’t damaged, so in a panic, I moved my car to another spot and said nothing. Less than an hour later, my boss showed me high definition security footage, so now I either cough up repair money I can’t afford, or I get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 1 863

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 652

Same thing different taste

Banished

Smells like Toddler Spirit

Food poisoning

Top comments

Comments