By StromyG2 - 24/10/2011 14:54 - United States

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 037
You deserved it 3 268
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

CopeStraight 3

Rule 1: don't take candy from the creepy dude down the street

55 0

Comments

alpha_kennyBody 3

you can never be too careful. your pops is just being a good parent lol

8 1
KiddNYC1O 20

I believe there is such thing as being too careful.

2 4
copo37 7

All those sweet tarts are actually ectasty tabs. He's making sure you don't confuse tripping balls with a sugar rush.

19 0
captainfalcon7 0

what does he say about Christmas? "watch out for santa, cause if you've been naughty he'll get you!"

15 1
lilvic56 5

"Now remember, in case you see a man with a white beard, that does not mean he's Santa. You shouldn't go in his 'sleigh' nor should you reach into his sack in search of a free candy cane. Oh, and don't jingle his bells!"... Prepared for the possible thumbs down >.

2 0
HomeAl0ne 20

"Watch out for Santa, he's sexually frustrated. He only comes once a year, and when he does he fills your stockings."

0 0
Quasar55_fml 18

Beware the kids roaming the streets. They have eggs and TP.

8 1
perdix 29

Maybe if you quit trick-or-treating, he wouldnt have to lecture you. It's not cute anymore that you go grubbing for free candy dressed as a hipster parasite. Get a job and buy your own ******* candy!

22 6
some_girl9 8

Dude, where does it say that the OP is 1. Trick or treating at all, 2. Trying to be cute, 3. Dressed as a "hipster parasite," 4. Doesn't have a job, or 5. Wants any ******* candy in the first place? It says NONE of that anywhere. You are one miserable jackoff.

7 23
belkinbra 12

Leave perdix alone. Just leave him alone. Your lucky he even comments for you bastards.

15 6
DocBastard 38

Some_girl9, it's called a joke. Look it up.

11 2
upyourzlolz 11

Docbastard, its a Chris corker reference. You know, leave brittney alone?

0 2
Bbhd05 0

Ahh perdix you never cease to make me lol. And FYI, it's Christina corker now

0 0
some_girl9 8

It's a shitty joke. Which I'm guessing is why Fmylife.com is his outlet for "comedy," though.

0 0
SadGirl18 16

My mom does the same exact thing, except only on Halloween lol but he is trying to be a good parent:)

1 1
TipOfTheHat 10

I think you should re-read your post and figure out that there is probably a reason he does this! Any holiday stories you wish to share?

1 2
obviousboy 8

You're 28, move out already.

2 7
HomeAl0ne 20

Or stay there, keep sponging off mom and dad, but convert to Hinduism. I very much doubt that dad has any horror stories about Diwali.

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