Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 1 759

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 682

You deserved it 798 224

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 826

You deserved it 8 690

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 150

You deserved it 10 846

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 955

You deserved it 631

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 562

You deserved it 9 938

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 276

You deserved it 3 173

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 010

You deserved it 45 584

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 666

You deserved it 89 200

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 736

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 803

You deserved it 13 025

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

Vagabones 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:12

Pulling out in time is a bummer anyways. Either be sure that she is on the pill or use a rubber. Always.

fcuk_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:14

hahahahaha!!! oh my god!!! that's what you get for trying to get some chick your barely know. you got stuck with a ******* psycho!!!! i honestly feel so sorry for you. she might already be pregnant and just trying to screw you over, so make sure to do some kind of paternity test when the kid is born! hahahaha.. oh my god...

Maltastic 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:19

Do you see her everyday, or know if she even remembers you? It's possible she didn't get pregnant though. Word of advice, for next time, don't sleep with someone you don't really know to well, as 183 said... you don't want to wind up with a "psycho" Lol.

whatsarahsaid 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

And so, kids, this is why sex education is so important.

mylifebelike_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

three wrong things you did bud. 1.) had sex with someone you barely know 2.) she was drunk 3.) you had sex w.out a condom

astroG 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:37

hahaahhahahhahahahhahaaha there are no words

Xaos 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:46

hahaha ow wow... i feel for you man.. I was in a situation very similar to yours only a month ago. I'm so glad my country legalised abortions quite some time ago. :o

willxbexfam00sx3 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:47

I read that and burst out laughing.Thats the funniest thing I've heard all day.Thank you for that.

ThatsFuckeD 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:47

Wow that is one of the scariest things I've ever heard!!

silentdud 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:59

dude youre all *******. everyone in college has sex with people they barely know who are drunk... Not everyone has sex with crazy girls who want to impregnate themselves by force.