Animals: Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in...

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 1 984

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Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 122

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 2 513

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 151

You deserved it 3 984

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 813

You deserved it 5 370

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 3 355

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 663

You deserved it 257

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 765

By Whateversz - 24/07/2010 19:59 - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 042

You deserved it 3 733

LoverWordsFood 27

Friday 24 July 2015 0:42

Nope, Nope, Nope and No ******* Way. Strong mouthwash and some kind of brush to scrub out the...feeling. *shudders*

DeathofCareBear 21

Friday 24 July 2015 0:38

Isn't that touching...

Comments

kmcook 5

Friday 24 July 2015 2:46

gag and shudder.

corky1992 33

Friday 24 July 2015 3:04

my worst nightmare! **** spiders.

JdB22 7

Friday 24 July 2015 3:53

Worst. Nightmare. Ever.

wanted_2_want 40

Friday 24 July 2015 3:57

Hey! Next time try to dream about being a zillionaire with eye candy on both the arms... Wait!

dntbeadouche 25

Friday 24 July 2015 4:13

I like the way you think. you might be on to something here. If that happens, definitely gonna track down op and have them help me in my dreams.

vividdreamer 14

Friday 24 July 2015 4:25

All the heebie-jeebies and all of my nope to that, sir!

wpam1978 7

Friday 24 July 2015 4:32

Spiders are my worse fear.

cassiekinz 14

Friday 24 July 2015 4:41

Now that is a reason to hop right the **** on the nope train straight to FUCKTHATVILLE.

booty_sniper 10

Friday 24 July 2015 4:49

Did you survive?

Princesswildrose 10

Friday 24 July 2015 4:54

Nope nope nope nope.. So much nope.

ham_spam 17

Friday 24 July 2015 4:58

Taquila and lighter

Keywords

Work Mental health Students Relatable Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Intimacy Wanker Family First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Transportation Cars Cops Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 252

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 712

You deserved it 3 336

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 133

You deserved it 2 740

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 382

You deserved it 6 961

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 861

You deserved it 5 729

Today, I finally got my phone and internet services reinstated after a billing mishap. During the week that I was without service, I had 3 requests for interviews and a position offer. None of those opportunities are still available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 827

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 606

You deserved it 5 719

Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

Juicy breakfast

Top o' the mornin' to ya

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