Miscellaneous: Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between... - FML

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 111

You deserved it 2 587

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Same thing different taste

By RIP - 07/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 672

You deserved it 1 824

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 01:03 - United States - La Grande

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 754

You deserved it 3 426

My 21st birthday

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 14:00

Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 242

You deserved it 535

By ApparentlyBadDriver - 25/06/2015 10:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 713

You deserved it 24 829

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 09:59 - United States

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 271

You deserved it 2 992

Leave me alone

By notgivingup - 01/10/2012 03:21 - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 790

You deserved it 2 005

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 21:16 - United States

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 642

You deserved it 3 577

Lost

By daenerys stromboli - 28/12/2013 18:11 - Ireland - Navan

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 034

You deserved it 4 685

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 056

You deserved it 3 721

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 571

You deserved it 1 993

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Top comments

xHaniffax 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:48

Did you give them a right scolding after? and a lecture on behaving irresponsibly in public? XD Oh, parents...they do the darndest things

doctorbob 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:51

probably a bar where bikers go to

Comments

hellokittywhore 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 22:00

lol sounds like a tuseday night at home for me :( god I know how much it sucks to be in that situation

xvxblackdahlia 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 3:31

holy ****. been there done that

limegreenpoopie 31

Thursday 25 March 2010 16:22

lol :D

beyondfake 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 4:56

That's what happens when your parents are brother and sister and you are inbred

Isaac_gee 0

Monday 7 May 2012 8:04

Soo who won?

xAfg 6

Wednesday 27 November 2013 8:59

The irony.

wRIPPERw 23

Tuesday 31 December 2013 19:27

My dad was in the Hells Angels, and I'm soon to be buying my own Motorcycle and joining a local club. I've had to go break up fights between my dad and other people. The other bikers "Couldn't intervene"

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The Top

Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 171

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 982

You deserved it 6 342

The Top

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 541

You deserved it 4 565

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 286

You deserved it 3 307

Today, my daughter found out there was a vacant seat left in first class on our flight and damn if she didn’t pounce on the opportunity to get bumped up into it so fast, because she, “like, deserved a break.” She left me in economy class for a 10-hour flight with her 3 year old and 1 year-old with teething pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 212

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 798

You deserved it 1 381

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 617

You deserved it 6 331

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 442

You deserved it 5 487