Kids: Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she... - FML

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 6 094

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Same thing different taste

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 652

You deserved it 8 832

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 125

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 633

You deserved it 3 119

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 213

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 6 929

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 39 984

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 494

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 802

You deserved it 12 120

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 289

Next

Top comments

BriBeHyper 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

What a badass.

RA661 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

Sign 'er up for boxing!

Comments

m3lz3rs 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:16

tough cookie you got there lol

Mitch_Connor 11

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:01

Blood Sport Tots edition

miahkicksbrass 9

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:09

boss

jaredofmo 22

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:15

And how was the other one?

nativepimp 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:23

Shes a beast!

CiaranPM 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:25

Good girl. Sounds like she'll be a bitch when she grows up.

beastman2815 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:42

Thays cool who was it

icic6772 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:43

Ur daughter is a ******* BADASS!!!!!!!

OfficeNinja 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:43

don't have to worry about the class bully stealing her lunch money! she is the class bully. have her break you off for 50% of the take, and after the school year use the fun money in Vegas.

deviable 9

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:48

Lol! I did that once, to guys a grade older than me, with a stick. My dad was so proud.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 220

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 047

You deserved it 1 523

The Top

Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed and ended up against a pole by the side of the road. It was the only pole I'd seen in 50 km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 116

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 777

You deserved it 7 164

Today, I went over to my mother-in-law's house to have dinner. I was excited she invited me, since I thought she didn't like me. I ended up hanging her Christmas lights in a snowstorm while they had s'mores by the fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 450

You deserved it 4 186

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 566

You deserved it 84 208

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 008

You deserved it 4 834

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 527

You deserved it 56 608