Intimacy: Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex...

By minecraftwilldie - 02/06/2011 16:52 - United States

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 183

You deserved it 14 740

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Same thing different taste

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 08:00

Today, I shoved my tits in my boyfriend's face, but he chose to continue playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 916

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 19:54 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 976

You deserved it 3 532

By Minecraftwhyyy - 22/08/2012 15:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 124

You deserved it 6 742

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 170

You deserved it 5 611

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 8 599

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 6 794

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 3 788

By Uhg - 10/03/2019 02:00

Today, my spouse made it clear that they would rather play video games than be intimate with me. I've tried everything, but get nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 400

Gamer watch

By kristajoy2001 - 01/09/2019 00:02

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 343

I need a new strategy

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 10:00

Today, I promised my husband "unlimited butthole access" if he'd get off his video games and help me with my homework. He pointed out that this was the fourth time I'd promised him that, and that since I never followed through the last three times, he wouldn't be doing a thing. Well, shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 056

Antoine_Dodson 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 23:30

Correction: he's a creeper.

XplicitJesus 4

Thursday 2 June 2011 23:27

im guessing you havent either?

Comments

Minecraftaddict 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:58

This FML just made my day!

AbNorMal_KarizMa 0

Friday 3 June 2011 9:22

comparing sex to minecraft is like comparing something to chuck norris... minecraft will AlWAYS win

MidnightBlossom 2

Friday 3 June 2011 9:31

Minecraft: the beginning of a different life.

maddi79 0

Friday 3 June 2011 11:02

don't give him the choice next time! throw yur self at him!!

samuraikoala 4

Friday 3 June 2011 11:54

never give an ultimatum unless you are ready to lose.

goliatron 9

Friday 3 June 2011 12:11

How is that even an ultimatum? Regardless of his choice, he wins. You're stupid, and deserve it.

thelastlucifer 17

Friday 3 June 2011 12:15

minecraft is awesome, especially with the wolf packs!!

mw2isbeast 0

Friday 3 June 2011 13:15

minecraft is beast

EmoAngel98 0

Friday 3 June 2011 13:26

damn **** blocked by blocks.

e1ementsk8r 0

Friday 3 June 2011 13:28

i wouldve been like SEX!!!! cuz ****** is good. 8)

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The Top

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 689

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 525

You deserved it 12 736

The Top

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 150

You deserved it 3 011

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 067

You deserved it 64 831

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 117

Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 049

You deserved it 160

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 606

You deserved it 3 322

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 171