By assholecat - 10/10/2012 08:43 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 599
You deserved it 5 461

assholecat tells us more.

Hey y'all, this is OP. In regards to my post: The elderly lady is a very close family friend of my family who still lives by herself but is being taken care of by her family. She's a lovely lady, really. I'm not worried about her stealing my cat - her dead cat and my cat look very similar. If he's bringing her joy - great! She and kitty can hang as much as they want! To the people who seemed to hint at me not feeding my cat... if you ever saw him, you would know that he is probably the best fed cat in the whole world. He is enormous. I have perfectly good food for him to eat - which I would feed him if he turned up for meal times. I don't feed him whenever he's hungry because he's a big ol' fat cat and I don't want him getting any fatter. (He won't be getting breakfast from me anymore - when I found out that my neighbour was lovingly feeding my kitty for me in place of her own, I went and brought her some cat food.) In regards to the "your cat is an opportunist! That's what cats are!" comments - no argument from me. As far as "don't call your cat an asshole!" comments go... my cat is an asshole: he methodically waits by her door every single morning at the same time that she routinely feeds her own cat, even though he knows (I'm sure he does, simply because the other cat isn't there) that her cat is no longer with us. My cat is both an opportunist and an asshole. And no, I don't believe that my cat can understand me when I call him an asshole. Anywho, that's it. I'm out. Peace!

Top comments

Man - You should know better. There's NO way to shut the idiots up. You're assuming they will 1) read this, 2) comprehend it, and 3) care.

Comments

Amazzzing. Your cat is just smart, doesn't want your neighbor to feel lonely!

ElishaisSexy2016 9

You think this is a FML? You are a ******* loser.

82- It was good enough to entice you to comment on it, no? ;D *Tease!*

aeromachine 7

it's not as if the cat knows it is taking advantage of an old woman's sentiments.

I don't think an old lady getting joy from the kitty is "taking advantage" in any way. Mutual happiness. (I know the OP said that but they cleared up in their follow up they were kidding)

Lol ya cat smart , you ain't gotta buy food nomore .

The elderly neighbor probably has dementia, it's nice of your cat to do that!

sweetmama88 6

Don't feel badly, for some stupid cats do that all of the time , I lost my cat , that way and my family treated her like a queen . We were very hurt that our cat love another house. To this day we never bought a cat ever again , our family sticks to dogs instead , plus there more loyal then some stupid cat.

Bluejaywilde 10

Are you serious? Get over it, your time would be better spent learning some grammar.

raraisbang 12

The irony in this being that your profile pic is of a strange cartoon... Cat. Right? Righhhhht?

sweetmama88 6
raraisbang 12

Who are you referring to? Oh I see, you're talking to your reflection. Glad we cleared that one up!

Haha.. this must be a joke.. are you serious? "Your a very dumb girl.." what the hell..?

expertsmilee 26

The world needs a good purging of people like this.

Oh, the irony! Don't call someone dumb and in the process make a grammar mistake!

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