By assholecat - 10/10/2012 08:43 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 599
You deserved it 5 461

assholecat tells us more.

Hey y'all, this is OP. In regards to my post: The elderly lady is a very close family friend of my family who still lives by herself but is being taken care of by her family. She's a lovely lady, really. I'm not worried about her stealing my cat - her dead cat and my cat look very similar. If he's bringing her joy - great! She and kitty can hang as much as they want! To the people who seemed to hint at me not feeding my cat... if you ever saw him, you would know that he is probably the best fed cat in the whole world. He is enormous. I have perfectly good food for him to eat - which I would feed him if he turned up for meal times. I don't feed him whenever he's hungry because he's a big ol' fat cat and I don't want him getting any fatter. (He won't be getting breakfast from me anymore - when I found out that my neighbour was lovingly feeding my kitty for me in place of her own, I went and brought her some cat food.) In regards to the "your cat is an opportunist! That's what cats are!" comments - no argument from me. As far as "don't call your cat an asshole!" comments go... my cat is an asshole: he methodically waits by her door every single morning at the same time that she routinely feeds her own cat, even though he knows (I'm sure he does, simply because the other cat isn't there) that her cat is no longer with us. My cat is both an opportunist and an asshole. And no, I don't believe that my cat can understand me when I call him an asshole. Anywho, that's it. I'm out. Peace!

Top comments

Man - You should know better. There's NO way to shut the idiots up. You're assuming they will 1) read this, 2) comprehend it, and 3) care.

Comments

Aren't you worried that this little old lady is going to steal your cat one day, thinking that it is her's? I bet you are now...

Well at least you'll save money, you no longer have to pay for food

delightfultwist 5

dumbass. keep your cat inside. do u know how many cats die being outside????

beebeeL 1

**** that cat. lock ur door, cats suck.

Cats suck if you want a loyal pet get a dog

My cat is like that too... :( "let me love you!!!" Then she runs like a Kenyan to my elderly neighbors house. WHAT IS IT WIH OLD PEOPLE AND CATS?!

I love cats :). (I know, couldn't care less, but it's no worse than some of the other relatively daft comments on here).